


Falling Cherry Blossoms

by DimiGex



Category: Naruto
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst and Feels, Broke my own heart, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Drama, Feels, Gen, Mission Fic, Rescue Missions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 03:45:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8188351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DimiGex/pseuds/DimiGex
Summary: When Kakashi is injured, his team returns to complete their mission without him. After over a week of silence, Kakashi is dispatched to check on them. Will be be able to reach them in time or is he already too late?





	1. Failure

Darkness cloaked the forest, clouds obscuring the moon and stars that should have been visible overhead. The trees provided some cover from the elements but they weren't enough to negate the rain entirely. The slick branches threatened to make the unwary foot slip and tumble to the earth. So far, none of the ninja had fallen prey to that particular danger but it was only a matter of time if they continued this pace in their exhausted state. The sound of pursuit had faded when they entered the trees but that didn't mean their enemy had given up, only that they were being more cautious. The team's mission had spiraled from bad to worse until there was no hope of saving it. Outnumbered and injured, the leaf shinobi had been forced to fight their way out. Failure and retreat rankled but at least they gathered some useful intel to take back to the Hokage.

The rain splashed off the five bodies darting from branch to branch in the trees. Though they had rain cloaks, those were still packed away. The pale color was too obvious in the shadows of the forest, especially now. Naruto, showing surprising maturity for once, had taken the lead on their retreat. No one raised any objection to following him; they were too exhausted or injured to argue. Sai was only a step behind Naruto, near the front of the group. At some point, the boys had developed a respect for each other that allowed them to work together as a cohesive unit. Sakura moved in the middle of the pack, the most protected position, though she'd started growing into her own strength recently. Tenzo, Captain Yamato to the rest of the team, drifted between positions as needed, sometimes up front with the boys, other times falling back to relay something to Sakura. Kakashi, bringing up the rear, could see the familiar form making its way toward him.

"Are they still following us?" Tenzo leaned close to the jonin so his voice wouldn't carry. Under normal circumstances, Kakashi might have used a shadow clone to circle back and watch their retreat but his chakra was almost entirely spent. If they were being pursued, he would need every ounce of strength to fight off their attackers. He could have had asked Naruto to do the same but the youth was brash; he would probably try to take on the enemy with a single shadow clone rather than bringing information back. Tenzo could have done the same thing with a wood clone but the truth was that the divided attention could kill them as easily as the enemy. They needed to find a safe spot to regroup and rest but the nearest one he could think of was at least an hour away. As his sandal smacked against the next branch, Kakashi winced and was thankful for the mask that hid the majority of his face from his comrade. Tenzo turned toward him and Kakashi looked away almost in the same instant.

"They aren't the type that will give up easily," he answered, voice coming out in a soft grunt as he landed. Kakashi relied on every ounce of his ANBU training to keep himself moving despite the pain that rippled through his body with every jarring jump. Exhaustion exacted the largest toll; both physical tiredness and chakra depletion nagged at the back of his mind as a blurry, achy pain. All five team members were injured after their fight, but Kakashi suspected his own were the worst. They had been investigating rumors of rogue ninjas from the Hidden Rain village but their stronghold was far more occupied than the mission status had led them to believe. Not only that, but the enemy seemed to know they were coming. An intelligence gathering mission had quickly become an ambush; had they been any less skilled, it would have been a massacre.

The team had managed to gather some information about the rouge group but not nearly enough. Their hideout was situated in an abandoned compound not far from the border between the two nations. Kakashi had been anticipating perhaps ten or fifteen ninjas of middling strength as part of this band. What he'd found had been nearly forty enemy scattered throughout the compound, some with exceptional skills that rivaled his own. The leaf shinobi had been trying to find out something about their leader, a woman named Sayomi, when they'd been cornered by half a dozen enemy with the alarms already raised. Kakashi still didn't know what had given their presence away. They had fought out of the building and into the street, trading wounds with the other ninja at every step; it was all they could do to keep from being butchered.

The leader herself appeared when they were nearly to the gate, moving like a phantom among her men. She had been so fast that only his sharingan gave him an edge against her ninjutsu, a powerful combination of wind techniques and weapons, the worse being swords made of air. Naruto had taken several wounds from the invisible blades before Kakashi managed to draw Sayomi's attention to himself. In hand to hand, she proved almost as formidable as his own rival, Might Guy. By the time they'd reached that point, the leaf shinobi were nearing the end. Naruto was injured enough that Sakura had stopped fighting to heal him, though between that and the nine-tails restorative abilities he showed little of his injuries now. At Kakashi's command, Sai and Tenzo had retreated, dragging Naruto behind them with Sakura close on their heels. That Kakashi would surrender his life for any one of them was a given, as was the fact that Naruto would never let him. The genin had inherited that particular nindo perhaps a bit too strongly.

In the end, Naruto's shadow clones had made the difference that allowed Kakashi to escape with the rest of them. Clones and his own substitution jutsu, though Sayomi saw through it almost immediately. He could still see her face when he sprang away with the rest of them: wide, teal eyes framed by black hair. There was no question in them that she'd won even though they were escaping. Not many made Kakashi nervous but something about that woman did. Any shinobi with that type of skill should have been in the bingo book but he'd never seen any detail that matched her. The information about the enemy was essential to get back to Konohagakure so they could assess the threat. That was why they couldn't stop, even for injuries. Kakashi was certain they were being pursued so they had to keep moving. He'd been in worse places than this and come out fine on the other side.

Tenzo glanced behind them at the silent forest then turned to face Kakashi, rain dappling his face and slicking his short brown hair to it. "How badly are you injured?" His words were quiet, as they always were, but he didn't want them to be heard by the other members in their party. He would allow Kakashi that much privacy, at least. "We worked together long enough in ANBU for me to recognize that stubborn set in your eye and the way you wince every time you move. How bad is it?"

Kakashi wanted to say that it wasn't serious but the pain had multiplied exponentially. Fire radiated through his body with every beat of his heart and sweat was running off his skin, mixing with the blessed coolness of the rain. "Bad enough," he grunted. The edges of his vision started to grow dark but he shook his head and focused on a point ahead of him. He could almost make out the white circle on the back of Sakura's shirt but there were more than one and he couldn't tell which was real. Kakashi shook his head a second time and leaped from his current position toward the next branch. In mid-air, it split into three wavering images, merging and splintering apart with no set rhythm. His foot landed on air and he pitched forward, missing the branch by inches. Tenzo reacted, barreling into him and carrying both of them to ground.

He laid Kakashi on the damp ground, almond shaped eyes filled with worry, as his voice rang out in the quiet. "Sakura, I need your help." Beneath the mask, Kakashi smiled. His friend had become an effective leader in the time they'd been apart. Team Seven followed Tenzo almost as well as they followed Kakashi now. His single eye reopened when he felt someone thump lightly to the ground next to him. At her name, the pink-haired young woman had turned back. Now, her green eyes were leaping from one man to the other.

"What happened, Captain Yamato?" There was confusion on her face as she looked at Tenzo for an answer. "Kakashi-sensei?" He tried to open his mouth to tell her that he was fine but the words kept sliding away as the forms above him grew hazy and distorted. Kakashi squeezed his eyes shut, regulating his breathing and heartrate while attuning to the sounds around him. They needed to keep moving; he had to get up.

"He's hurt," Tenzo began, watching Sakura run her eyes over Kakashi's body, looking for injuries, "probably more injured than he let on." Kakashi opened his eyes when she touched his chest, pushing the partially unzipped flak vest to the side. Sakura gasped and pulled the zipper the rest of the way down. The heavy green fabric had a gash across the face, running from the left near his shoulder down almost to his stomach on the right, stained red with blood. The navy, long-sleeved shirt beneath the vest was torn as well. Sakura peeled away the sweat-soaked, bloody shirt and ran her fingers over the worst gash. He had multiple cuts on his arms, legs, and chest but thankfully the navy fabric hid most of them.

Sakura's face paled as she looked down at him and Kakashi found himself realizing how much she'd grown up. She was no longer the little girl that tagged along at Sasuke and Naruto's heels. Her tutelage under Tsunade had given her confidence she'd rarely shown before. Their eyes met and she forced a smile onto her face. "You'll be fine," she whispered but he could hear the deception in her words as the soft green healing nimbus surrounded her. It brought out her eyes. Kakashi focused on that, trying to hold onto consciousness. "I think he's been poisoned," she worried aloud, turning to Tenzo for guidance as Naruto and Sai landed beside them.

"What kind of poison was it?" Naruto asked. Sakura's face clouded and she looked on the verge of hitting him as she had done so many times in the past. His hands came up instantly to fend her off.

"If I knew that, I wouldn't still be trying to figure out how to help him, would I?" She growled. Luckily for Naruto, her attention was wholly focused on healing so she didn't actually punch him. Kakashi managed a second smile as he regarded Naruto who was looking more and more like Minato with every day that passed. They had grown up so much in the past few years, but especially with the escalations of tensions that pointed toward the next great shinobi war. At the thought, Sakura's face shifted into that of Rin and Kakashi felt his chest squeeze tight at the memory of her and Obito. They still haunted him now, even all these years later. Hopefully the war could be avoided so his students wouldn't have to live through the same monstrosities his own team had.

The quiet focus of his senses had intensified the sounds around him and a faint rustle was all the warning he needed. Rolling to the right, Kakashi wrapped one arm around Sakura's shoulders and dragged her to the ground beneath him. The force was enough to draw the breath from her lungs in a grunt as a kunai sliced the air where she'd been kneeling moments before. Tenzo, Sai, and Naruto sprang apart, blending into the trees without needing the scatter command. Within seconds, the familiar sound of shadow clones popping into existence reached him and three copies of Naruto stood between the pair on the ground and the dark patch of forest where the kunai had come from. Releasing Sakura, Kakashi leaped to his feet with her right behind him. He didn't insult her by giving any command; she responded without needing to be told, disappearing into the darkness with the rest of the team. Kakashi bounded in the opposite direction staying on the ground rather than the trees.

Once he was sure he wasn't under immediate attack, he paused against the trunk of a tree and pressed his forearm over the wound in his chest. Poison made sense; his reactions were slower than they should have been, though Sakura's healing seemed to have given him some strength back even if she couldn't heal him entirely. He gave himself the space of four heartbeats to give in to the pain that was still there, sagging against the tree. Then, exhaling through his nose, Kakashi zipped the heavy vest over his wound and put it from his mind. The poison wouldn't have a chance to kill him if the enemy did first. His chakra was nearly spent so he drew a kunai from the pouch on his right thigh and peered into the darkness.

The sound of metal on metal crashed through the quiet and he ghosted toward it, taking extra care though his earlier dizziness and double vision had faded. A flash of silver glinted on his left and a man screamed. Sai appeared from behind the enemy, blade bloodied from the kenjutsu assassination technique favored by Root members. After dispatching the ninja, the boy moved off into the darkness beyond Kakashi's range of vision.

The silence shattered a second time around Naruto's voice, taunting an enemy and Kakashi almost smiled. That one was wasted on stealth. Dozens of orange clad, blonde ninjas appeared when he used multi shadow clone jutsu. Almost as soon as they appeared, three disappeared in a puff of smoke that gave the trajectory of the enemy's attack. Had Naruto willingly sacrificed his clones to show the enemy's position? Was he thinking that far ahead?

The reasoning mattered little; the end result was that Kakashi now had a good idea of where the enemy was. As he circled in that direction, he wondered if it was Sayomi. Kakashi had given as many wounds as he received in their fight but it was possible that she had a medical ninja as well. Whomever it was, he couldn't see them yet. Off to the left, he could see Naruto grappling with an enemy, pummeling him with shadow clones. Kakashi watched the fight for a moment, looking for a place to strike, when Naruto finished it with a quick jab at the man's throat which he couldn't block in time.

"Did you miss me, Kakashi?" Sayomi's voice was a velvet whisper behind him. Inwardly, he berated himself for being distracted by his comrade's fight. Naruto had proven time and time again that he could take care of himself even if he didn't always show the most common sense. "I had hoped that you'd be as much of a challenge as our bingo book says you are. I hate being disappointed." Three shuriken flew from her hand, tearing through his forehead, neck, and chest with deadly precision.

In the same instant, the jonin flicked his wrist, allowing the spinning kunai to leave his hand as Sayomi's shuriken split through the log Kakashi had substituted for his actual body. The woman had turned at the last moment, springing to the right as his blade raised a fan of blood in her wake. As soon as the weapon was out of his hand, Kakashi was moving too, dipping his head to avoid her thrown shuriken. This kunoichi was good; one of the best he'd faced in a long time. Adrenaline coursed through his body as he moved between the trees, feeling the thrill of a challenge shivering through him. He no longer felt groggy or disconnected though whether that was from Sakura's healing or from the excitement of battle, he couldn't tell. Kakashi couldn't see his quarry as he drew a second kunai from his pouch.

"You're fast," Sayomi purred, stepping into his line of vision, perhaps five feet ahead. "Almost as fast as I am." Her deep grey, almost black, clothes blended into the shadow seamlessly except for the sash of teal around her waist that matched her eyes. She held a kunai loosely in her gloved hand, watching him. "It's a shame to kill the famous Copy Ninja. I bet you could teach me all sorts of interesting things." Kakashi didn't answer, mind already spinning through a thousand scenarios of how to turn the fight into his favor. She was right, of course, she was faster than he was without the use of his sharingan but he couldn't risk using it again. The strain would possibly kill him. "You can't even use your precious sharingan, can you? I was really hoping you'd give me a challenge."

"A good shinobi makes use of all the tools at their disposal." Kakashi smiled beneath his mask. The woman had been so focused on taunting him that she hadn't realized Naruto, or perhaps one of his clones, had crept close enough to watch the fight. The figure thumped to the ground between them, grinning at Kakashi over his shoulder in that infuriating Naruto way.

While the woman was still trapped by the surprise of his appearance, Tenzo's voice boomed "Wood Release: Four Pillar Prison Jutsu." The ground erupted into a cage, encasing the woman behind thick bars from which there was no escape. Kakashi saw the fleeting surprise on her pretty face before the walls closed around her. To her credit, she didn't cry out, only widened her eyes in surprise. Kakashi collapsed against the tree, feeling the adrenaline rush out of his system at an alarming rate. The world trembled and his knees gave way, depositing him on the damp ground.

Naruto's shadow clone popped out of existence and Tenzo was at Kakashi's side, shaking his head. "You'll never learn, will you? You should have hung back and let us handle it. You were in no condition to fight."

"It's not that bad," he groaned, trying to push himself back onto his feet.

"It is. You can barely stand." Tenzo's dark eyes were serious. "You don't have to act like you aren't injured in front of me. None of your students are close enough to see."

Kakashi almost smiled as he looked up at the younger man. "In a way, you were my student once, too."

"Once," he nodded. "Now, I'm your friend and I'm telling you that you should have let us handle it. You realize raising your heartrate only helped spread the poison, right?" Tenzo rested a hand on his shoulder. "So what you're going to do now, is sit right where you are until I get Sakura to look at your wounds a second time." Normally Kakashi would have argued but normally the forest didn't spin the way it was now. The other man called out for Sakura again but it seemed to come from a great distance away. Kakashi struggled and failed to focus on Tenzo's face as darkness surrounded him.


	2. Regret

Awareness returned with painful slowness. Kakashi's stomach clenched as he forced one eye open; the light was brighter than it should have been. Every muscle felt like it had been stretched past its breaking point and his joints pulled loose. He ached all over but there was nothing to be done for it. He took several deep breaths and forced himself to accept it. This wasn't the first time he'd been poisoned. Poison was one of the nastier tools that shinobi used against each other in battle. Without knowing the precise one, it was nearly impossible to treat. The best anyone could do was stabilize him and try to figure out what was killing him before it did.

As he forced the pain down, Kakashi tried to place his surroundings. His body was on a soft bed, head on a pillow, and a clean white sheet was drawn up almost to his eyes. Not his apartment, so it must be the hospital then. Had his team made it back to the village while he was still unconscious? That would mean that he'd lost two or three days at least. His last clear memory was fighting Sayomi and Tenzo trapping her; there was nothing else. Groaning, Kakashi tried to pull himself out of the grogginess that clung to him, but it proved too strong. His eyes fluttered shut and he was dragged back toward the dreams he wanted to avoid.

Fractured memories swam before his eyes. Images of training with Obito and Rin were interspersed with similar images of Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke. The rumble of the rocks crumbling around him echoed in the quiet as Rin screamed. Cold air swirled against his burning face when he was lifted on one of Sai's beast scroll birds. Sakura flashed into existence, fear in her green eyes as the healing nimbus surrounded her. Naruto was standing next to her, one hand resting on her shoulder, his face grim. Kakashi wanted to say he was cold but the words wouldn't form. Tenzo loomed in his vision, dark eyes serious as he whispered something to Sakura. The words were too soft for Kakashi to make out. Rin smiled and congratulated him on becoming a jonin while Obito sulked to the side.

"I'm sorry," he moaned, twisting in his sleep as more images raced through his mind. He recalled intense pain, a fountain of red blood, then the sticky fluid running through his fingers and down his face. His hands ached as he beat hopelessly against the rock pinning Obito. Brilliant liquid spilled down Rin's chin as she whispered his name. Heart racing, Kakashi wrenched awake. The room was silent but for his pounding heart and the blood rushing in his ears. Sweat soaked through the sheet covering him as he looked around the empty room, noticing the silver haze of moonlight. There were four beds, but his was the only one occupied. Someone had drawn a screen between where he lay and the door to give him some privacy. It had probably been the same person that had removed his mask but still understood his desire for separation. He ran a hand over his bare face, composing himself.

As his mind stopped racing, his body followed and his heart returned to normal speed. Kakashi assessed his injures. He felt weak but being unconscious always left him feeling that way so it was hardly remarkable. The fuzziness of chakra exhaustion hung behind his eyes as well but that was a familiar ache. As much as he hated to admit it, Tenzo had been right. Kakashi should have trusted his students to neutralize the threat but the idea that even one of them might die while he could prevent it wasn't one he could stomach. No, he had enough on his conscience without adding one more death. Shaking his head, he peered out the window. Dawn wasn't far off, perhaps an hour or two, so there was no point in going to look for someone to explain what happened. Beyond feeling spent, there weren't any other injures that he could find. Even the gash across his chest was gone which likely meant that Tsunade herself had seen to his wounds.

Since he wasn't in danger of dying any time soon, Kakashi's most pressing issue was finding something to wear since he appeared to be mostly naked beneath the sheet. In his extensive experience with hospitals, they tried to keep you as long as humanly possible. Surprisingly, someone had laid a pile of clothing beside his bed. There was a clean pair of the standard issue navy pants that most jonin wore and a matching shirt though it wasn't the long sleeve variety. It was sleeveless like the shirts ANBU favored. Most importantly, it had a mask attached. Kakashi dressed as quickly as his body would allow then pulled the mask up over his nose and let out a soft sigh. That felt far more comfortable than just a sheet. Whomever had left the clothing had also placed sandals on the floor and left his battered copy of Make-out Tactics beneath the clothes. Kakashi couldn't imagine anyone else doing all those things, including removing his mask, except Tenzo.

Deciding to wait until true morning, Kakashi picked up the familiar book and leafed through the pages until the sunlight painted the village golden. There was no point in disrupting everyone's sleep because he wanted to talk about the mission. If he had been unconscious as long as he thought he had, the need for urgency had long since passed. Once morning descended, he dropped his feet to the floor and pulled on the sandals. It felt strange not to be wearing his vest or have any weapons but those were nowhere to be seen. Content that he had everything he needed, Kakashi pushed himself to his feet. The room tipped first one way, then the other and he wondered about the wisdom of getting out of bed but a hand against the wall steadied him. It was almost certain that if he was seen, they would tell him that he needed to regain strength for a few days before leaving. Kakashi needed to take care of things so he crept from the building as quietly as possible.

The early hour allowed him to escape the hospital unnoticed and once he was outside, he considered going to his apartment to get the rest of his gear. He probably wouldn't need kunai in the village but not having a weapon in his hand was almost as bad as being without his mask. In the end, he decided that speaking to the Hokage was more important so he turned in that direction. There was a risk that she would be angry at him for being out of bed but he needed to know what happened. As he approached the familiar route to the office, Kakashi wondered if Tsunade would be available this early in the morning. He could have sent for her as soon as he woke up and she probably would have come but she wouldn't have been pleased. There was nothing to say that couldn't be said this morning. He rapped on the door to her office and a muffled voice bade him enter.

Tsunade was behind her desk, surrounded by piles of paperwork while Shizune, her assistant, stood to the side. The Hokage's brown eyes narrowed and Kakashi felt the temperature in the room drop by several degrees. "What are you doing out of bed?"

Kakashi bowed. "I have a mission report."

The woman shook her head and leaned back in her chair, pushing away the paper she'd been reading. "Captain Yamato made your report three days ago, after I spent hours bringing you back from the brink of death."

"I'm fine," he started the lie then thought better of it. "That is to say, I've felt worse. Have they gained any information from Sayomi?"

Tsunade sighed then pursed her lips. "You didn't bring her back with you. As best as we can tell, the woman you fought was a clone. There is no way she could have escaped Yamato's jutsu otherwise." He could tell that she'd been over these details more than once and was tired of running through the scenario.

"Release me to finish my mission. I can gather information without subjecting the rest of my team to danger." Tsunade's eyes slid toward the tattoo on his left shoulder then back to his face. The history of ANBU members was a closed book to anyone but the Hokage and Kakashi was certain that Tsunade knew his background. It wasn't that he tried to keep it a secret anyway; plenty of people knew he was a former member of the villages black ops. Cold Blooded Kakashi, that was what they had called him back then. It was just one of the many mantles he'd worn.

"If you hadn't taken Sai along last time, you wouldn't have come back at all." She peered at him, looking for something. Did she expect him to flinch in the face of death? Had he given his life for Naruto, Sai, Sakura, or Tenzo it would have been worth it. No, she was looking for something else. "They've already returned to gather more information. Yamato is more than capable of leading your cell."

Kakashi couldn't argue with her logic; it was true. Tenzo was also a member ANBU with an exceptional service record. There were few other people that he would trust his students with. "And what do you have in mind for me, Hokage-sama?"

"You are going back to the hospital and you are going to stay there for the next week, even if I have to place a guard." Tsunade seemed angry enough to do so and it was certainly within her power though she usually didn't display it in such a way. Whatever was happening with the war, or perhaps the repercussions of this mission, was weighing on her. He almost asked, but the Hokage would tell him if he needed to know.

"You won't need to place a guard but it is necessary that I stay in the hospital? If it's simply chakra exhaustion I can rest anywhere." Kakashi knew he was beaten and there was no point to argue but staying in the hospital for an entire week did not sound appealing. Despite that, the walk over to the office had sapped most of his strength. Whatever was wrong with him appeared to be either new or more severe than he had yet to experience.

Tsunade gave him a smile that would have made most men cringe backward. "I know what your idea of rest includes and I won't have it. There won't be any training with Guy, one armed mountain climbing, handstand races, one finger pushups, or anything along those lines. I intend that you rest and recover your strength."

"What am I recovering from, exactly?" Though it was a serious question, Kakashi slid his hands into his pockets and affected an air of indifference. Had the poison done more damage than she was letting on?

The Hokage and Shizune watched him for a moment and he was aware they were debating just how much to tell him. No doubt the pair had discussed this as well. "Exhausting nearly all your chakra isn't unusual for you, I'm sure you recognized that as soon as you opened your eyes." Kakashi inclined his head in agreement, waiting for the rest. "Your wounds were mostly superficial and Sakura's healing in the field took care of them except the one on your chest, which I closed. More troubling was the poison."

"Were you able to identify it?" Kakashi felt the faintest flutter of fear at the question.

"Not entirely. We believe it interfered with your body's ability to draw or perhaps hold chakra, at least temporarily. I was able to isolate some when we removed it, and the medical ninja are studying it as we speak, but for now it's still a mystery. You'll notice that your chakra gain is much slower than usual, rendering you ineffective in the field. I don't think the poison did any permanent damage though; if you rest like I told you to, you should be good as new." Tsunade met his gaze.

Kakashi exhaled and resisted the urge to focus his chakra into a jutsu. His body needed rest and food to replenish itself. "Thank you for healing me," he inclined his head again. "I won't make you post a guard; I'll go back to the hospital and rest like I'm supposed to."

He was turning to leave when the Hokage spoke his name. "Kakashi?" He looked back over his shoulder. "I want your word that you won't go after your team. I'm aware that you could sneak out of the hospital and village with little trouble but I expect you not to. No shadow clones, no substitutions. I want your physical body in that bed for seven days, no exceptions."

Smiling, he dipped his chin. "Of course, I wouldn't dream of it." Kakashi's word was good but the thought had definitely crossed his mind. Instead, he would abide by her rules no matter how arduous they felt. The exhaustion through his body was so complete that he wondered if he could make it back to the hospital under his own power. Even his mind was running slower than it normally did, sluggish.

Having given his word, he returned to his room where the nurse complained that he hadn't bothered to let them know that he was leaving. The woman fussed over him entirely too much, saying he needed to rest and get as much sleep as possible. She meant well, though, so he tolerated it. Once he had some peace and quiet again, he pulled out his book and read the familiar story to pass the time.

The seven days were as torturous as he'd thought they would be with the nurses constantly checking to make sure he wasn't doing anything he shouldn't be and both Tsunade and Shizune stopping in to talk to him about how he was feeling or ask for any more clues that he had on the poison. He must have told the story at least four times but it never seemed to satisfy them. Kakashi asked after the mission but Tsunade only shook her head and reminded him that she couldn't talk about current missions, even with him.

When the day of freedom finally came, Kakashi was more than ready to go. His body felt normal again except for the lack of training he'd given it the past week but that was nothing that a few hours of work couldn't put right. He was able to sense and manipulate his chakra so it appeared that the poison was a temporary block rather than a permanent one. As soon as he stepped out of the leaf hospital, Kakashi breathed a sigh of relief. It felt good to stretch his legs and move. He would go home, gather his tools, and look for Guy or someone to spar with to get himself back in the swing of things. If he ended up looking like a fool and falling on his face, Guy was one of the few who would think nothing of it.

He had barely reached the street when Tsunade fell into step beside him. She gave him a tight smile as he nodded. Whatever she wanted to talk to about was apparently something she didn't want anyone else to hear. They walked in silence for a while before she pulled him toward the all you can eat barbeque restaurant. It was quiet this early in the day and as she slid into the booth across from him, he found himself thinking how strange it was for her to bring him here. Far more expected would have been the local sake place though it was probably too early for her to be drinking, even if she was the Hokage.

Once they ordered, Tsunade watched at him. "You followed my command about resting." She sounded surprised. "I didn't think that you would. Now that you're better, is there any point to remind you that you promised not to go after your team?"

"I'll do whatever the Hokage commands," he answered. The days in the hospital had given Kakashi time to reflect. As much as he wanted to rush off and help them, he knew that his team was in the capable hands of Tenzo. Showing up would only throw things into chaos unless there was a reason. He had taken the background role before and let Tenzo lead, so he knew the man was more than capable of it and the mission was larger than Kakashi's desire to protect them.

Tsunade sighed. "I should have received word from them. The intelligence you returned with was enough to warrant their return mission but they were under strict orders to keep in touch. Yamato is ANBU, he knows better than anyone to maintain silence when his orders are the opposite." The woman fidgeted, staring off into space before continuing. "I know that Naruto couldn't be in safer hands but he is still the nine-tails jinchuriki. Was I wrong to send him away?"

So that was it; she was worried that she'd lost an important bargaining chip with the other nations. It was no secret that Akatsuki was hunting the jinchuriki but Kakashi knew that Tsunade believed both Naruto and the village would be safer without him in it. "He is stronger than you think, Tsunade-sama, so is Sakura. I'm sure they're fine."

Tsunade nodded as the waitress brought them the strips of meat on a large platter. When they were alone again, the Hokage continued. "I shouldn't have risked Naruto; he's of utmost importance to both the village and maybe the entire shinobi world. If this band of rogues is tied to the Akatsuki, I made a terrible mistake."

"Only if they fail," Kakashi pointed out, draping some of the meat over the grill between them. The pair ate in silence and Kakashi found himself reevaluating the woman. She had begun second guessing herself since Jiraiya's death and the devastation of the village after Pain's assault but he still trusted her completely. "Hokage-sama? What are you asking?"

Tsunade startled from her thoughts and met his gaze. "I want you to go after them, even though I told you not to." He could tell she was struggling to put words to what she wanted to say. "Naruto needs to make it back to the village by whatever means necessary. This mission supersedes theirs, even though it's not official."

"I'm not ANBU any longer," he said, running a hand over his tattoo.

She smiled. "You're still one of the best jonin in the village and one of the ones that I know I can trust to have Naruto's best interest at heart. Bring him back Kakashi, whatever it takes."


	3. Fractured

After finishing lunch and leaving the Hokage, Kakashi hurried toward his small apartment to gather the necessary supplies. Since the scope of the mission hadn't changed, almost everything he needed should still stowed away in his pack, assuming it was here. Pushing open the door, he breathed in the faint staleness of the familiar space. Since so much of his time was spent outside the village on missions, his home looked empty and sterile. The normal signs of life were missing and except for the scattered pictures resting on a table near the door, anyone could have lived here. Kakashi paused to look the images, letting the memories wash over him.

There was one of his father, Sakumo, with Kakashi perched on his shoulders, laughing. He remembered that day even though he'd been so young then; it produced a painfully sweet ache when his gaze lingered. Next to it, there was a picture of his own genin team with Minato. That one brought regret and memories of his failure but he kept it there as a reminder. Even though there were regrets with this one as well, the picture of Team Seven brought a smile to his face. Sasuke and Naruto were so much like himself and Obito. Shaking his head to clear the memories, Kakashi moved away. Now that he'd been medically cleared, he was eager to get back to the mission not linger on the past.

His eyes fell on a mound of familiar green fabric laying on the small kitchen table. Someone, probably Tenzo, had placed his flak vest and pack in the apartment. He was the most likely since Kakashi didn't think his students even knew where his apartment was. Walking over, he ran his fingers over the gash in the front of the heavy fabric before laying it aside. A new vest lay beneath it. He smiled, trust Tenzo to think of everything. The man had left Kakashi lying unconscious in the hospital but Tenzo knew him well enough to know that as soon as he was able, Kakashi would be rejoining them on the mission. Removing the scrolls and items from his damaged vest, Kakashi transferred them to the new one and shrugged into it. Though it wasn't perfectly molded to his body as the other had been, it fit well.

His weapon pouches and pack were resting against the leg of the table. It didn't take long to check his supplies and see what needed to be added. He'd used a couple ration packs and lost a few weapons along the way but all of that was easily replaced. After checking the kunai pouch, he strapped it around his thigh. In all the years that he'd been doing this, Kakashi had perfected mission preparation to an art so he could be ready at a moment's notice. Once he buckled the pack shut, there was nothing left that needed doing; no one he needed to tell goodbye. He paused briefly by the pictures, promising Rin and Obito he would stop by to visit when he returned, then pulled the door shut, leaving the apartment as if he'd never been there at all.

He moved through the village at an easy stroll, thankful for the opportunity to stretch his legs. Having a mission again felt good, even if he was only going to double check that his team was okay. Kakashi nodded to a few people as he walked but no one attempted to stop him. Purpose was obvious in his stride. Even his book was tucked away in a pocket for the moment as he focused on the task at hand. The first camp where he could expect to find the others was at least two or three days away, and that was if he pushed himself.

Once he reached the forest, Kakashi was able to make up for lost time and thankfully, all of the branches remained solid this time. Going on a mission alone required a different level of awareness than traveling with a team because there was no one there to watch your back and catch the things that you missed. The intense scrutiny for solo missions was a trait that ANBU had trained into Kakashi. He was aware of every sound and movement in the trees around him, constantly looking for anything out of place. The hours passed without event but that wasn't surprising. The Leaf was adamant about protecting its border so he didn't expect to see anything unusual. With the war brewing, though, it paid to be attentive.

Rather than rushing headlong, expending all his chakra and physical energy, Kakashi moved at a steady pace, stopping only when necessary to eat and rest. He thought about his team but worrying wouldn't help them and Kakashi would need every ounce of strength he could muster if they were in trouble. He believed that they were fine but it was unusual for Tenzo not to follow the parameters of the mission exactly. When he'd left, Tsunade still had no antidote for the poison he'd been affected with. There was a hint of laughter in her eyes when she told him to careful not to get poisoned a second time. Giving Kakashi's penchant for injuries, that seemed unlikely but at least he knew what he was facing this time. His team didn't even know that much.

It was mid-morning on the third day since he left the village when Kakashi reached their original campsite. He didn't expect the team to still be there and he wasn't disappointed. There was no sign that they'd ever stayed here except for a stray scrape in one of the trees where a kunai had grazed the surface. That had been Naruto, overreacting as usual. Knowing his next best option was the compound the rogue ninjas held, Kakashi turned in that direction.

Now that he was getting closer to the enemy, Kakashi slowed down and looked for signs of Sakura, Sai, and Tenzo while listening for Naruto. The sun was sinking toward the horizon, painting the ruins ahead of him in shadow as Kakashi crept closer. The compound had probably been a temple of some sort but the stone walls were covered with ivy and crumbling now. The buildings that still stood were abandoned as far as he could tell though they'd been crawling with shinobi the last time he was here. Was Sayomi worried about an ambush by leaf ninja after they'd gotten away last time? Was it easier to relocate than reinforce their defenses here? It seemed unlikely but the element of surprise could be a powerful force. There were no guards moving anywhere that Kakashi could see.

He stuck to the trees until he was close enough to slip into a corner of the wall where he could protect his back if there were enemy present. Crouching in the shadows, he listened, attuning his body to the silence. For several long moments, Kakashi focused on his own breathing and the forest around him. There was nothing out of place; everything was eerily quiet. Content that he wasn't going to be ambushed a second time, Kakashi explored the area quickly. Nicks in the stones near the gate evidenced their earlier fight and the rain had cleared away the patches of blood that littered the ground. Beyond that, there was nothing to suggest Sayomi or her band had ever been here.

Coming up empty-handed didn't deter him from his mission. Kakashi paused and looked up at the sky as if it might have the answers he needed. Tracking wasn't a specialty of his, though Kakashi could handle it well enough if he needed to. Instead, deciding time was of the essence, he flipped open one of the pouches on his vest and pulled out a scroll. Forming the hand signs, Kakashi slammed the flat of his hand onto the ground. Black letters spiraled away from his hands as a single puff of grey smoke materialized into a small dog. Pakkun, a pug wearing a blue vest and a leaf shinobi headband, peered around briefly before settling his dark eyes on Kakashi.

"What's up, boss?" The pug's gravelly voice was a familiar comfort, as was his presence in the growing darkness. Night would fall before long so they didn't have time to waste

Kakashi didn't treat him like a normal dog, which would insult Pakkun's proud nature, but as an equal. "I need you to track someone for me, Pakkun." The ninken didn't seem surprised; tracking was the most common use that Kakashi had for his pack of ninja hounds. "Naruto, Sakura, Sai, or Tenzo," Kakashi continued, "whichever scent you can pick up." If Kakashi knew Naruto, the boy wouldn't be far from the others and his scent was the most important. The ninja hound didn't ask for any additional information; the simple fact that Kakashi needed him was enough.

Pakkun snuffed the ground a couple of times, requiring Naruto's scent then set off at a jog, Kakashi following behind. Just in case they ran into any trouble, he drew a kunai and reversed its grip so the blade was against the inside of his forearm. He kept one finger through the hole at the top of the grip so he could flip it forward if necessary. "Their scent is strong here. Naruto's especially, and yours." Pakkun didn't ask what had happened but Kakashi filled in the blanks anyway.

"We fought here two weeks ago, give or take." Kakashi didn't need Pakkun to tell him that the scent would only be strong after such a long time if significant blood had been spilled. Regardless, he felt the need to explain the urgency behind his request. "I suppose you know it already, but they're in danger. I wouldn't have summoned you if I had time to find them on my own." The pug fixed him with this soulful stare then dropped his nose back to the ground, inhaling their scent deeply then springing off toward the forest with Kakashi in his wake.

After perhaps an hour, Kakashi no longer needed Pakkun to tell him they were going the right direction. They stood in a small clearing that was littered with the signs of a ninja battle. Trees were scarred from kunai and shuriken and the grass was trampled beneath their feet. More worrying was the blood scattered on nearly every surface. There was an alarming amount of the red liquid, enough to indicate not only injuries but death as well. Crouching down, Kakashi touched his fingers to one of the patches splashed on the ground; it was still sticky and damp. Whatever happened here was recent, within the past two hours or he missed his guess. Rubbing the blood from his hands on the grass, Kakashi looked down at Pakkun as he padded over.

"There were at least ten different people here. Naruto and Sakura were both injured; the scent of their blood is clear." Pakkun looked around the area then focused on his master. "It doesn't look good, Kakashi. I can't smell the others, but those two I know well enough to recognize even with all the other scents. Naruto lost a lot of blood here."

Kakashi nodded. If it had come to fighting, Naruto would have fought with everything he had to save his teammates, much like Kakashi would have done. "Thanks, Pakkun. I can take it from here." The ninken nodded and Kakashi released the summoning, allowing the dog to puff out of existence in a swirl of smoke.

Once he was alone, the jonin allowed himself to examine the scene more fully. Even without Pakkun's help, Kakashi would have recognized the signs of his team. The ground was torn open from the inside, a clear indication of Tenzo's wood style. One of the tree trunks had the distinctive swirl mark of Naruto's rasengan, as well. A patch of deeper liquid on the ground might have been ink from Sai but it was too dark to tell. In the end, it didn't matter. The fact that Naruto and Tenzo had fought here was enough to suggest Sakura and Sai had been here as well. If they hadn't, they no longer needed Kakashi's concern. Years ago, he might have felt remorse at the thought but now it was a fact of life. Worry would change nothing; the only thing he could do now was find them as quickly as possible.

Forcing his mind to clarity, Kakashi started through the trees. There was one trail in particular that was easy to follow even in the growing twilight. Whomever it belonged to had been badly injured, leaving patches of blood every few feet. He followed the dark liquid until night descended around him and Kakashi no longer needed it to see where he was going. Firelight shone out of the trees ahead and he stalked forward even more carefully.

The remains of a settlement appeared through the trees, though it was hardly deserving of the name. The forest had reclaimed most of it by now; the walls had long since rotted in the weather, as had the building behind them. The only discernable features to mark it were the large courtyard area that grass hadn't reclaimed yet and a couple of dilapidated ruins that would barely provide shelter. In fact, they were probably more of a hazard than a help.

Far more interesting than the open space and broken buildings, however, were the bodies moving around the perimeter. Kneeling in the shadow of the trees to make a smaller visual target, Kakashi counted at least eight moving figures and three stationary ones. The large fire that he'd seen earlier had been lit behind the group, making it nearly impossible to tell who the bodies belonged to from this distance. They were just vague shadows as his eyes began to adjust to the brilliant light he was staring into after the darkness of the forest.

As his vision adjusted, Kakashi recognized Sayomi though it was more from voice than her face. She was talking and laughing, loud enough for her voice to carry though he couldn't quite make out the words. She glided toward the figures in the middle of the courtyard and paused by the one on the furthest right, bending down to say something. Then, apparently not liking the answer, casually backhanding whomever it was. The gurgled cry of pain reached his ears and Kakashi hand clenched tight on the kunai he held; that voice belonged to Sakura. Which meant that the three surrounded, stationary figures must belong to members of his team. Where was the fourth? Kakashi didn't allow himself to follow that train of thought into despair.

As much as he wanted to charge in and save them, he couldn't until he knew the situation better. Slipping back into the trees, he circled through the forest until he found a spot where he could get a better view of what was happening. When he was close enough to see the situation, Kakashi cursed inwardly. He could see them perfectly from this vantage point. Three large posts, like the type used in ninja training, were centered in the space, a member of his team secured to each. Their hands had been forced backward and tied together behind the post. That position would put a tremendous amount of pressure on their upper arms and too much forward struggle could dislocate their shoulders. Additionally, they were secured to the stakes by coils of rope beneath their ribs. No amount of wiggling and fighting could get them free unless the bonds were cut.

Tenzo was closest to Kakashi and looked considerably worse for the wear. His chin rested on his chest and the forehead protector that he always wore was tilted wildly to the side. Blood ran down his face in a crimson mask, soaking into his shirt and vest. Sai stood next to him, head held high despite having one of his eyes swollen shut. Kakashi noted that the tanto the boy usually wore on his back was missing but he seemed in better condition than Tenzo at least. Sakura was the furthest away from him and she was slumped against the ropes, being supported by them rather than constrained. Her pink hair was matted with darker blood that ran down the right side of her face. Despite the distance, Kakashi could tell she was lulling in and out of consciousness.

"Come out, come out, wherever you are." Sayomi's silky voice mocked the darkness. Two of her allies, standing nearest the prisoners, shifted and glanced out at the forest. There were eight men besides Sayomi that he could see, positioned at various points around the space. One was on each side of the fire, nearest their leader. Another two flanked the prisoners and a pair stood by what would have been gate at one time. Now, it was just the area where the fading footpath approached. Two more were spaced out closer to the trees, walking a slow perimeter around the area the light touched. Fools. They should have been in the shadows, where their eyes weren't ruined by the firelight. If they had, they would have been much more likely to notice Kakashi. Since there were only three team members and he'd been left in the village to heal, Kakashi reasoned that the woman was trying to draw Naruto out of hiding. The boy was brave to a fault; quiet plotting was not his forte. Was it possible he'd succumbed to his injuries somewhere?

Sayomi waited, answered only by the silence, then moved over to Tenzo. The man lifted his face to meet her gaze despite the blood dripping off his chin. "I heard you cared about your friends. If you don't surrender, I'm going to start killing them soon." She called out to the night as she ran her nails down Tenzo's cheek, dragging down the partial mask that he wore to expose his neck and throat. The man didn't flinch. "Maybe I'll start with your sensei, here. He was so brave and strong until we broke his fingers and he couldn't form hand signs anymore. Now, what use is he really?" Her hand slammed against Tenzo's bound ones, smashing them into the post. The man grunted and squeezed his eyes shut, remaining unmoved otherwise. Kakashi drew a second kunai from the pouch on his thigh, holding them loosely in each hand. As much as he hated seeing Tenzo in pain, he only had one opportunity for a surprise attack. He couldn't squander it.

"Or maybe your teammate here?" She purred, moving over to Sai who gave her his characteristic cat-like smile. Her taunts and sarcasm were lost on the boy who was only just starting to rediscover his emotions after having them brainwashed out of him in Root. Sayomi couldn't know that calling him Naruto's friend had quite the opposite effect of what she intended. Instead of cowering in fear, the boy actually seemed to smile wider. Sai's bare midsection was splashed with blood but if all that had been his, he would have been dead. The Root trained shinobi must have taken out several of their attackers in the earlier skirmish. In fact, he looked content until Sayomi punched him in the stomach. Kakashi cringed but Sai only grunted like Tenzo and doubled over briefly before standing up straight again.

Perhaps sensing that he wasn't going to be easy to break, Sayomi moved on. "Maybe you'd prefer I kill your girlfriend first?" The woman lifted Sakura's chin with one hand, forcing her head up. Kakashi felt his body tense involuntarily. From his perch, he could throw the kunai and move, before they knew his location as long as he was fast. With shadow clones he could take out three or four men at once but that still left four and Sayomi. The woman, unaware of death lurking in the shadows, continued. "Such a pretty face, too. It would be a shame to disfigure it." She held a kunai in her hand, blade pressing against Sakura's cheek. The girl finally seemed to realize the danger through her delirium and tried to jerk away, crying out. Kakashi was preparing to move when familiar laughter reached his ears.

Naruto stepped out of the murky shadows between the trees. Firelight glinted glinting off the leaf symbol on his headband as he smiled. Though he'd managed to avoid capture, Naruto had been injured in the fight. Blood covered his chest and left leg, painting the orange fabric black. His jacket was ripped in half a dozen places, left sleeve entirely gone. Completely unfazed by the fact that he was outnumbered and bleeding, Naruto limped into the space with his head held high. Even with the nine-tails healing power, it was a marvel the boy was still on his feet. "It doesn't have to end like this, Sayomi. Let them go. I'm not going to surrender."

"I knew you were going to say that," Sayomi smiled and spun to the side with the elegance of a dancer. Kakashi almost cried out a warning but it happened too fast for reaction. Sayomi slid behind Sai, the blade in her hand flashing in the firelight. His dark eyes opened wide in surprise as the ribbon of crimson bloomed across his neck. Time shuttered to a halt as the sticky liquid fountained up with his heartbeat. There was no sound left, even the cicadas and leaves fell respectfully silent as the river of blood streamed down his chest and exposed stomach. The ropes around his wrists kept Sai from reaching up in a vain attempt to staunch the flow as it ebbed to a trickle. Kakashi forced himself to watch as the boy raised his eyes toward his friend, knowing his life was ending. Horror was etched in Naruto's blue eyes as his mouth fell open in shock, frozen to the spot. Sai struggled to take another breath then smiled, collapsing against his bonds.


	4. Shattering

Sound crashed back into the world with Naruto and Sakura's voices. She whimpered Sai's name, struggling to reach him, while Naruto roared with primal fury. Tenzo fought against his bonds as well, trying to calm the rage that was erupting from the boy but Naruto wasn't listening. He was forming the hand sign for multi shadow clone jutsu, preparing to launch his attack. Kakashi expected hundreds of copies to flash into life in the courtyard and was shocked when only two appeared. One tottered and fell, disappearing in a puff of smoke before it could move. Naruto gritted his teeth as the second shadow clone vanished, moments behind the first.

Sayomi smiled and raised a hand to stop her advancing ninja. "Haven't you figured it out yet? I thought for sure I'd played my hand too early when I poisoned Kakashi and didn't capture you at the same time. Was it fun, watching the famous Copy Ninja succumb to my poison?" The pieces fell into place for Kakashi but Naruto was mentally a few steps behind. "Make this easy and surrender; no one else has to die. You've been poisoned, too. There's no way you can draw enough chakra to fight. Not that it would matter if you could."

If it hadn't been for the shell of numbness Kakashi had wrapped around himself, he would have laughed. Naruto never cared about the odds. Usually, he overcame them no matter had bad they looked.

"Stop, Naruto," Tenzo grunted, trying to pull free from the ropes that held him. The man either didn't notice or didn't care about the pressure he was putting on his broken fingers; he was entirely focused on reaching Naruto. Kakashi couldn't tell if Tenzo wanted to help or restrain the boy. Since the incident with Pain, there was real danger that Naruto would give in to the nine-tails power and lose himself. Tenzo was an expert in sealing jutsu but he wouldn't be able to do much in his current condition.

Ignoring Tenzo's command, Naruto lunged toward the woman a second time. "I'll kill you," he snarled. One moment, she was standing beside Sai's slumped body; the next she was beside the fire. Kakashi shook his head; Sayomi was so fast that it was almost impossible to keep up with her movements. Was she using a form of transportation jutsu?

Rather then pursing her, Naruto stopped beside Sai and slid the kunai in his hands through the ropes. The boy tumbled into his waiting arms, no strength left in his legs to hold him up. Kakashi glanced at the puddle of blood where the earth greedily drank his life away and knew, before Naruto reached him, Sai was gone. Sakura sobs had stopped as she stared at her teammates, stunned. Even had she been free, her medical ninjutsu couldn't save Sai now. Kakashi doubted anyone except for Tsunade had that skill.

"Which one do you want to watch die next?" Sayomi's voice sounded on the edge of madness but there was a gleefulness to it as well.

"You're going to pay for this," Naruto responded. There was a depth to his voice that Kakashi had never heard, a maturity that came with pain and loss. The boy had seen death and understood it was a fact of shinobi life, but he would never accept that things had to be this way.

Sayomi laughed. "You can barely stand or hold enough chakra to make a single, functioning shadow clone. What do you possibly think you can do alone?"

Without thinking, Kakashi moved. "He's not alone." Dual kunai flew from his hands, sinking into the chests of the guards on either side of the prisoners. Surprise gave him the necessary edge, but he didn't rely on shadow clones. If none of his team could wield chakra, Kakashi would have to fight for all of them. He placed a hand against Naruto's back and gave him a shove toward Sakura to get his feet moving. "Don't think about what you can't change," he instructed, already moving toward Tenzo.

"I knew you were hard to kill, but I'm impressed." Sayomi grinned, teal eyes following Kakashi's movements as he cut Tenzo's bonds. Naruto did the same with Sakura's, catching the girl when she collapsed against him. "So the Copy Ninja has a weakness for his friends too, does he? Or was it just that you couldn't stay away from me?"

"I'll protect my comrades with my life," Kakashi answered, shifting the weight onto the balls of his feet and gathering chakra in preparation to leap in front of his teammates at the slightest provocation. If she had transportation jutsu, Sayomi was almost as unpredictable as Naruto.

Tenzo moved closer to Kakashi, struggling to draw a kunai with his damaged fingers. Naruto was holding a weapon and Sakura stood under her own power, shaking off the arm the blond had put around her shoulders. Her green eyes dropped to look at Sai and her body trembled like a leaf caught in a gale. It was one thing to work in the medical corps, quite another to watch a friend die in front of you. "Sakura, look at me." Kakashi's voice was rough, demanding enough that it snapped her attention to his face in sheer surprise. He had always treated her more gently than the boys, but right now he couldn't afford to let her give into the emotion. "Focus on what you can change."

Sayomi sighed and flicked a shuriken at Tenzo, who barely avoided it in his weakened state. "Haven't you been listening? All of them are poisoned, dying as we speak. I'd be surprised if any of them can draw even a thimbleful of chakra. Even the prodigy here," she bobbed her head toward Naruto.

"I don't need my chakra to kill you. I'll kill you with my bare hands." Naruto laughed deep in his throat, a rumble of rage. Kakashi glanced at Tenzo then back at the boy beside him. His normally blue eyes glowed red with animal ferocity, pupils slit vertically as his canine teeth lengthened and sharpened to points like a fox. Would Sayomi's poison work on the nine-tails chakra as well? Naruto was losing control of the demon as she fed his wrath, taunting and tormenting him.

Kakashi rested a hand on the boy's shoulder, squeezing it firmly as Tenzo clasped Naruto's wrist. "Calm down," Kakashi whispered in a soothing tone.

"I can't help hold the seal anymore, Naruto," Tenzo added. "You have to control it on your own." Sakura moved toward Tenzo, green halo of healing surrounding her momentarily then flickering out. The shock of Sai's death had worn off and she'd fallen back on her medical ninja training. Unfortunately, she didn't have the chakra to heal Tenzo's wounds. "It's okay, Sakura," the man answered her mumbled apology before it could form.

"I was told that you could summon the fox spirit at will. Are you going to bring it out to play?" Sayomi mocked Naruto again as she raised her right hand, waving it in a circle. It was the signal for her men to move in and all six began advancing. "I'd like to see how fierce it really is or if you're all talk."

Heedless of Kakashi and Tenzo's warnings, Naruto threw himself at Sayomi as the other ninja approached. The woman glided away, using a blade made of air to open a new gash on Naruto's exposed arm then his leg. Blood trickled from the wounds but Naruto didn't slow his assault, chasing after her as she shredded him with wind cutter.

Though he watched them from the corner of his eye, Kakashi had his own hands full with the other ninja. Six together was hardly insignificant, even for him. Sakura had grown stronger in combat but her fighting style was augmented with chakra in the same way Tsunade's was. Both women used precise chakra control to inflict devastating damage with a single attack. Without chakra, she had only her mediocre hand-to-hand skills but she drew out shuriken anyway. Kakashi smiled at her briefly then turned his attention back to the battlefield.

Tenzo had finally succeeded at drawing a kunai from the pouches on his back, face grim. Kakashi glanced at the younger man, wondering if his healing ability had been affected by the chakra poison. One good thing that came from having the First Hokage's cells was that Tenzo healed rapidly. Though the blood remained on his face, Kakashi couldn't find the wound that caused it. Either it was hidden in the bloody mop of brown hair, or it was gone.

Tenzo moved his fingers more naturally but Kakashi could tell he was still in pain. The healing was probably much slower from the poison. He wasn't sure how it worked and now was not the time to contemplate it. Kakashi moved backward until his shoulders touched those of his friend. The pair had spent so much time together in ANBU that falling back to their familiar fighting style was almost second nature. Sakura hung close to their sides.

A rain of shuriken came from the nearest two attackers ahead of him but Kakashi deflected with his kunai, allowing them to thud harmlessly to the ground. He only had a couple of kunai left, so as tempting as it was to take his enemy out at range, he waited. Tenzo was more than proficient at kenjutsu but he no longer carried the ANBU sword across his back. Instead, he would have to rely on taijutsu and hand to hand. Reaching up with his hand, Kakashi pushed up his headband to reveal his left eye though he didn't open the sharingan yet. He heard Naruto grunt as the air was driven from his chest by a series of explosive kicks. But as much as he wanted to, Kakashi couldn't help him, not yet.

One of the approaching ninjas, a thin man with greasy brown hair that hung from beneath his bandana style headband, was forming hand signs as his comrades circled toward the side. Still, Kakashi kept his sharingan closed. If he could reserve the majority of his chakra for the fight with Sayomi, he needed to. When the enemy threw his head back after making the tiger seal, Kakashi crouched low and formed seals with inhuman speed. He slammed his gloved hands into the ground and a wall shot up in front of him. Flames from the fire style attack roared around the edges. His mud wall had always countered Obito's fireball jutsu and this was no exception, just a different face. Kakashi held it for a moment then forced his chakra into his feet, springing atop the wall to release one of his remaining three kunai at the attacker. It tore through the fabric on the side of the man's chest, missing flesh by inches. Kakashi flipped backward off the wall, letting it vanish as his sandals thumped to the ground.

Tenzo was among the three enemies on his side, blocking and dodging though he'd take a couple of wounds already. The man couldn't keep it up much longer; Kakashi knew that from his experience with the poison. Soon, Tenzo would start seeing double and triple while the world would spun; then, he would be an easy target for whomever wanted to pick him off.

Clearing his mind of all distraction, Kakashi opened his left eye and closed the right. The world leaped into visual clarity, every instinct heightened to mental overload. Chakra images flared around him and he could read the forming hand signs of each of his enemies. Focusing, Kakashi forced chakra in his right hand. A soft whirring sound whispered in his ears as the chidori formed, pale silver and blue tendrils flashed off the electrified chakra. The enemy closest to him tried to stumble backward but it was too late. The combination of his sharingan and the chidori was devastating. All three enemies on his side fell in rapid succession, lightning blade tearing through their chests, leaving gaping holes behind. He pivoted after the third death, rushing toward Tenzo's enemies. A fourth fell to his hand and he circled back to look for another opening.

Kakashi's gaze fell on Sayomi and Naruto, still struggling against each other though Naruto seemed to be getting the worst of it. Her wind cutter had sliced dozens of gashes into his skin. As Kakashi watched, the woman pivoted, her wind blade tearing through the cloth of Naruto's headband and his forehead. The metal rang on the ground as it tumbled beneath their feet. Blood poured from the cut, dampening the blond hair and washing down his face. Head wounds always bled too much. She smiled, toying with him. "I thought I said I was going to kill your comrades if you didn't surrender."

"I will never surrender or let you kill another of my friends," Naruto growled, doubling his efforts.

Seeing his opening, the jonin sped toward the pair while she gloated. Even when she sensed his movements and darted away from Naruto, Kakashi followed her with ease. Sayomi was moving toward his team; he had to finish this quickly. Their speed was dizzying as the chidori sang in his ears.

Sayomi flowed around Tenzo who had turned toward them, using his body as a shield. Kakashi's sandals slid across the dirt, kicking up clouds of dust, as he tried to stop. The chidori's silver light lit Tenzo's face and his dark eyes opened in surprise. Heart stopping in his chest, Kakashi released his chakra with so suddenly that he felt sick. Tenzo grunted and staggered backward into Sayomi when Kakashi's hand slammed against his chest.

"Well this is a surprise," Sayomi laughed from behind Tenzo's shoulder. "I heard you liked to use your signature move on your friends." Heart pounding, Kakashi met her eyes and forced himself to breathe. "It wouldn't have mattered anyway; he was dead before you attacked, he just doesn't know it yet."

His eyes flicked to her hand as it twisted and withdrew a thin blade from the area between Tenzo's neck and shoulder. Kakashi had been distracted by the pawns she sacrificed and now he would pay dearly for it. Tenzo exhaled, eyes filled with a pitiful mixture of pain and peace as Sayomi shoved him into Kakashi. Blood welled up, darkening his shirt. The cut looked innocent enough, only about two inches wide, in the natural depression at the back of his collarbone, just barely exposed by his flak vest.

Kakashi stumbled back, hands closing around Tenzo as the unexpected weight bore him to his knees. He pressed a hand against the cut, watching the blood bubble through his fingers without slowing. Tenzo should be able to heal through most wounds but without chakra due to the poison, his body was losing the battle. Sayomi's precise attack had severed or nicked the arteries beneath Tenzo's collarbone. Though the blood running through his fingers and slicking his gloves was slowing, Kakashi knew Tenzo was bleeding internally. No amount of pressure could stop the bleeding because he couldn't reach the true damage.

"It's okay, Kakashi," Tenzo mumbled, forcing a smile onto his face as he took a shuddering breath. "We both knew this would happen one day. That's what it means to be shinobi." He coughed before continuing. "Sacrificing so others don't have to." Kakashi's mind flashed back to telling a much younger Tenzo those words after the first ANBU mission where they'd lost a teammate. Kakashi meant it then, but did he still mean it now, watching Tenzo's blood run over his hands and drip to the ground?

Time seemed to stretch into eternity as the pulsing of blood slowed. Kakashi wasn't sure if either were still flowing. Tenzo opened his eyes; there was no fear, only acceptance. "Thank you, for always being here for me." The words were soft as his eyes fluttered shut again. "You have to save Naruto, senpai. He can't die here. Save him."

"I'm sorry I wasn't faster, Tenzo." Kakashi whispered, hearing the soft exhalation of death from his friend's lips. He tenderly slid Tenzo's body from his arms and onto the ground. Distantly, Kakashi could hear Sakura crying and Naruto screaming but nothing permeated the shell he'd wrapped around himself. He wondered if anything ever would again.

_One breath, then stand up and fight._ The familiar training tickled the back of his mind. Instinct kicked in and Kakashi drew a deep breath of the night air, filling his lungs to the point of pain then letting it out in a steady stream. His right hand balled into a fist of its own volition and he pushed it into the ground, forcing himself back to his feet. Unlike Naruto, Kakashi's body didn't tremble with rage or agony. In fact, but for the deadly focus in his eyes, Sai and Tenzo could have been men he didn't know. After Obito's death, Kakashi had swore that he would never abandon his friends to death while he lived. Now, two lay dead at his feet.

His chidori burst into life a second time, chittering and screaming Kakashi's fury despite the icy calmness on his face. He lunged toward the remaining two henchmen, an unstoppable force. His hand didn't slide through their hearts with the same ease it usually did. Instead, it exploded through the center of their chest with a force he hadn't used since his ANBU days.

After Rin and Obito, Minato-sensei had advocated moving Kakashi to ANBU to give his life purpose again. The decision had backfired, making him more cold and ruthless than he'd ever been. Kakashi could feel the tug toward hatred as he looked at the bodies lying on the ground. With every enemy dead except Sayomi, Kakashi found his chest heaving. The woman was watching him like a cat watching a mouse, toying with him in the same way she'd toyed with Naruto. She didn't realize it yet, but that was the last mistake she would ever make.

 


	5. Forgiveness

Flinging himself forward, Kakashi lunged at Sayomi who danced away. Her wind cutter sliced the air around him but, with the sharingan, he could see the chakra infusion clearly. Ducking beneath one cut, he threw one of his last two remaining kunai. His aim was true, tracing a line of fire across her arm when she shifted just a moment too late. Kakashi rolled beneath her retaliation strike, putting himself even closer, while his chidori roared with the blood in his ears. Advancing, he forced her backward until sweat stood out on her forehead and uncertainty showed in her eyes. Naruto advanced next to him, the fury in his red eyes unsated as he tried to move close enough to land a blow.

Sayomi breathed hard as both men pressed their attacks. Kakashi dodged to the side to avoid her blade and she turned it against Naruto in several rapid strikes. The blond was already bleeding from multiple wounds but at least these weren't adding poison to his system. It was impossible to poison chakra. So, as long as they stayed away from her traditional weapons, they could avoid that danger at least. Of course, Naruto was already poisoned. Only the nine-tails chakra kept him fighting.

A vicious slice from the right was coming too fast for Kakashi to avoid. He flung his hand against the blade of air, lightning release meeting wind release in a thunderous crash. His chidori was strong enough to cause the wind chakra to vibrate and disperse but he couldn't hold onto his raikiri after that. He leaped toward her as she fought through the initial shock of burst chakra, raining down kicks. The first she blocked with crossed forearms but the second kick connected with her shoulder, staggering the woman. Still using the momentum of his kicks, Kakashi infused his foot with chakra. His third attack crashed against her stomach, sending Sayomi flying backward through the air and into the crumbling structure behind her. Dust and debris puffed into the air when she hit.

"Nice one, sensei" Naruto grinned, clamping a hand over one of the cuts on his arm. Kakashi landed in a crouch, fingertips of his left hand touching the ground as he watched Sayomi struggling back to her feet.

"Naruto, I want you to take Sakura and get out of here." Kakashi glanced at Naruto from the corner of his eye, aware that Sakura had approached as well. Her green eyes were shining with excitement, as if landing two attacks was enough to secure the victory. Did they see his skill as that exceptional? His modest pool of chakra was nearly depleted and the familiar ache behind his eye told him that the sharingan was almost spent as well. He had landed two superficial attacks using nearly every skill at his disposal. The best he could do was provide them the chance to live.

A second Naruto popped into existence beside him as the boy created a shadow clone. This one at least seemed solid. "I'm not going to leave you to fight alone." Kakashi had never heard him sounds as much like Minato as he did in that moment.

"Neither am I," Sakura's voice wasn't as steady as Naruto's but there was strength in her eyes. Normally timid, the girl took courage in her teammate's confidence.

Kakashi's chest ached as he forced himself to look away from his students, from everything that remained of Team Seven. He had failed Obito then Rin, Minato, Kushina, Sasuke, Sai, and Tenzo. So many mistakes, so many lives ruined because he wasn't strong enough. He couldn't add any more names to that list. "I can't guarantee your safety if you stay, but I can hold her off long enough for you to get away. Neither of you needs to die here."

"I don't plan to die here," Naruto's smile was infectious and Kakashi realized his eyes were blue once more. His trust in the jonin was complete. It never crossed Naruto's mind that the three of them might lose this battle.

Sayomi was back on her feet, brushing dust from her shoulders and arms as she watched them. "Of course you won't die, boy. The jinchuriki needs to live but the others are expendable." She smiled and turned her attention to Kakashi. "You're almost as impressive as they say. It's been a while since anyone was able to land a hit on me, with either ranged weapons or in hand to hand combat."

"You talk too much," Kakashi growled in a lethal whisper as he stalked closer. Naruto and his shadow clone followed, while Sakura hung back. Sayomi was holding a kunai in her hand now, probably coated with the deadly poison that had sapped nearly all of his team's strength.

However strong his opponent was, she had to be feeling the effects of their fight as well. Sayomi was expending massive amounts of chakra with her jutsu, she couldn't have much left. Kakashi knew he was right when she was more cautious as he and Naruto approached. Once he was in striking range, Kakashi slashed toward her chest with the kunai in his left hand. She deflected it but that had been the point; when she pivoted to the side he moved with her and struck with the flat of his hand toward her throat, grazing the skin without the force he planned. She was quick enough to avoid it. His next attack was blocked but Naruto used the moment when both her hands were up in defense to land a punch on her stomach.

She grunted and formed the air into a fist that knocked the boy backward half a dozen steps, lifting his feet of the ground. Kakashi slashed at her elbow with his own weapon, opening a gash but not severing the tendon and rendering it useless as he hoped. Sayomi was incredibly fast as she deflected his next three blows. She returned her own attacks but none of them touched Kakashi. Naruto's shadow clone wasn't so lucky; her kunai bit through it, reducing their number once more. She couldn't keep this up much longer. None of them could.

Jabbing his hand forward, Kakashi struck the tender spot where her right shoulder and chest joined. The force behind his blow was only mildly strengthened with chakra; that point was weak enough on its own. Even if he hadn't dislocated her shoulder entirely, Sayomi's arm would at least go numb. The kunai fell from her lifeless fingers, clattering onto the ground where Kakashi kicked it away. There was no joy in landing his strikes. This was no sparing match to gain points by hitting his opponent as many times as possible. This was battle; the only thing that mattered was dispatching her as quickly as possible.

Sayomi spun when Kakashi moved to dodge her next attack, pressing her body against his and slamming an elbow into his nose and mouth. Kakashi tipped his head away from her and leaped back, narrowly avoiding the blade in her left hand. Kakashi tasted blood in his mouth, soaking his mask, and making it difficult to breathe as she darted away.

She pressed her left hand over the shoulder of her useless right arm, blade pointing away from him. Sayomi was starting to be able to wiggle her fingers again, watching Kakashi with the same respect that he felt. Not many could match him in hand to hand combat and the uncertainty in her eyes was obvious. Kakashi shifted his hold on his weapon and prepared for the final assault that would end things. Naruto was approaching from her other side but their enemy only had eyes for Kakashi. Her gaze flicked away when he lunged, leaving him stumbling through empty space.

Even as he moved, realization crashed into him. Kakashi yelled Sakura's name and threw himself in the opposite direction, springing toward his student. His feet barely touched the ground beside her before Kakashi wrapped his arms around Sakura, lifting her and leaping again. Naruto was there as well, moving with Kakashi and intercepting Sayomi so the jonin could carry Sakura from danger. Her left arm draped around Kakashi's neck as he moved a short distance away. It happened too fast for thought; he simply reacted to the danger. Fear sank its greedy talons into his heart as he looked down at Sakura. Had he been fast enough this time?

"Sensei?" Her voice was soft, a counterpart to the angry cries of Naruto as he traded blows with Sayomi. Kakashi knelt, still holding Sakura against him but she didn't fight to get away. The kunoichi hardly weighed anything in his arms, trembling against his chest. Kakashi had saved Sakura more times than he could count in their years together. He'd watched her grow from a weak, boy-chasing girl into a ninja that he was proud to have on his team. Had he ever told her that?

His eyes traveled over her pale neck, untouched by the blade that had taken Tenzo and Sai. Kakashi breathed a sigh of relief and loosened his hold. When she shifted, he saw the spreading crimson stain on her chest and the dark handle of the kunai quivering when she drew a breath. "It hurts," she mumbled, raising her hand toward the weapon. Kakashi caught her hand in his and folded it over her stomach.

"You're going to be fine, Sakura," he lied, fighting back the swell of emotions that threatened to close over his head. Another face drifted into his vision, brown eyes opening in pain as blood ran from the corners of her mouth and over her chin. Rin had coughed his name as the life faded from her face. Sakura didn't call him by name or even repeat his title; she believed his lie, believed in him. Her face was so pale, light pink hair scattered across her forehead. Naruto fought with Sayomi, Kakashi could hear them clashing against each other, but he couldn't summon the strength to turn. This was too much.

_Not again. I can't do this again_ , a voice inside of him screamed in agony. Sakura coughed and feebly reached for her chest but Kakashi pressed her hand in place. Her green eyes found his. He wanted to close his sharingan but he couldn't; this memory would be etched in his mind forever. "Am I dying, Kakashi-sensei?" Fear edged into her voice but her body was fading almost as quickly as her thoughts would form. It wouldn't take long, even without removing the blade; her heart had been pierced. Death was a matter of fact.

"You're f-fine," Kakashi whispered, hating the way his voice broke. He had to be strong for her; that was all he could do. Kakashi couldn't stop the inevitable, only keep her from being alone. Acting on instinct, he leaned down and lightly pressed a kiss to her forehead, his mask a wall between them. Sakura sighed at the unexpected tenderness he never showed and reached a hand up to touch his face. Her hands were cold. Kakashi closed his eyes as her finger touched the top of his mask. "Sakura," he breathed, wishing he could do something, anything. He had sworn to never be in this place again but his heart kept beating and breaking as he lost those he cared about time and time again.

"It's okay," she mumbled softly. Her finger caught the top of his mask and dragged it down fractionally before her hand fell away. "I want to see what you look like." The words were hardly a whisper as her eyes closed then drifted open to focus on his face. If it hadn't hurt so much, Kakashi would have laughed. All the foiled attempts to get him to remove his mask through the years and this was where they ended up. Holding her with his right arm, Kakashi lifted his left hand and tugged the mask beneath his throat. The cool air brushed the bare skin and he felt himself tremble.

Sakura smiled time and touched his cheek, fingers trailing down to his chin. "Not what I expected," she sighed as Kakashi covered her hand with his warm one. "I'm scared," she confided, resting her head against his chest.

"I'm here, Sakura" Kakashi exhaled as she sagged against him and closed her eyes, breath growing shallow then stopping all together.

When it was over, Kakashi eased her out of his arms and hung his head for the space of five breaths. Then, drawing his mask back up, he stood. Something inside of him cracked as he turned back toward the battle. That was what good shinobi did, wasn't it? Regardless of their emotion, they fought until their final breath. Kakashi had given everything, lost everything in his pursuit to protect the village. Was it worth it? Did any of it matter?

Finding it hard to breathe, he locked his gaze on the pair of shinobi perhaps two dozen feet away. Sayomi was smiling and Kakashi's right hand twitched in response. The fury and pain boiled inside of him, sudden and violent. His chakra was almost spent, even using his chidori again seemed foolish but he'd gone beyond the point of caring. If it killed him and Naruto lived, he could die a hero and leave this world and its pain behind. Kakashi felt the boy's eyes on him and heard the unasked question. Naruto wanted to know if Sakura was alive. Kakashi shook his head.

Naruto howled with bestial agony and fury that shook the forest around them. His eyes flashed from blue to blood in an instant. Naruto was engulfed in a crimson nimbus that looked vaguely reminiscent of a three tailed fox. He charged toward Sayomi who leaped to the side then transported to the opposite edge of the fire. She no longer looked confident as Naruto raged; in fact, she looked terrified. With the fox spirit's chakra bubbling through him, the boy was more than twice his former strength. Crouching on all fours, he shot toward Sayomi. As fast as she was, she wasn't fast enough this time. A hand snatched her from the air and flung her into the ground with a deafening crash. For all her skill, Sayomi was only a woman and no human stood a chance against Naruto's rage fueled by the demon's hatred.

Kakashi didn't run toward the pair; he walked sedately forward. Naruto was snarling as Sayomi picked herself up off the ground. Blood ran down her face and her eyes were unfocused as she looked up at him. The boy didn't even make an attempt at conversation but there was a cruelty, a wildness in his eyes that had nothing to do with the demon inside of him.

A traitorous, shattered part of Kakashi wanted to rage as well. Not at Sayomi but at Naruto. Had the boy been faster at summoning the demon's strength, the rest of their team would be alive. _Don't follow that path to hatred again_ , his conscience whispered. Naruto had been forbidden from using that power if he could control it. He might have saved them but he could have just as easily lost himself as well. Tsunade-sama was correct, the entire fate of the shinobi world depended on Naruto.

A ball of air was spinning in Naruto's hand, supplemented with nine-tails chakra. He charged toward Sayomi, slamming into her chest with the rasengan. Blood exploded from the woman's mouth in an arc as Naruto slid backward two steps. Sayomi was broken and battered, but she was alive. Blood ran from her mouth and a cut on her head, painting her pale face crimson. Her grimace made it obvious that she was in pain. If nothing else, Naruto had broken a couple of her ribs. Her breathing was a labored hiss of pain. As he watched them, Kakashi felt a flicker of pity in his heart. Naruto was going to kill her. That would taint him for the rest of his life. Though it might be right, he would be haunted by taking her life.

Already a second rasengan was forming over Naruto's hand. Logic bowed to emotion, to hatred and anger. Naruto, at his deepest level, believed in peace and the ability of people to change but his anger was so complete that he wasn't thinking straight. Killing Sayomi would set his feet on a darker path. Darting forward, Kakashi grabbed Naruto's wrist in one hand and looked down into the boy's fiery eyes. "Stop, Naruto." Sayomi was whimpering on the ground behind him, but Kakashi focused only on his student. "You did well, but I can't let you kill her."

"Sensei," Naruto growled, threatening to lose control again. "She killed them. She killed all of them. Captain Yamato, Sai, Sakura-chan," the anguish in his voice was undeniable and for a moment, Kakashi thought Naruto might swing at him instead.

"I know," Kakashi answered, his voice completely devoid of emotion. "It's okay, Naruto. I know."

There was a faint sound behind him as Sayomi pulled herself back onto her feet. One arm was clutched against her chest, confirming Kakashi's suspicion that her ribs were broken. Blood ran from her mouth, painting her teeth red. "I always knew leaf shinobi were weaklings." She made a strangled sound of laughter in her throat. "But I'm no fool, I know I'm beaten. I surrender." Kakashi met Naruto's eyes once, watching them fade to blue as the anger was replaced by pain.

Looking at Minato's son, Kakashi felt his heart clench. _I'll carry the burden so you don't have to, Naruto,_ Kakashi thought to himself. Spinning to face Sayomi, Kakashi slammed his chidori through her chest with enough force to send her flying backward ten feet. Her teal eyes didn't have time to register surprise. Kakashi knew before she hit the ground that she was dead. There were some sins that were unforgivable. The toll of using his chidori dropped Kakashi to his knees. His last thought before darkness closed in was that at least he'd been able to save Naruto.

 


	6. Epilogue

"Am I dead?" Kakashi's voice was hoarse, hardly loud enough to be called a whisper, and he hadn't opened his eyes. He wasn't interested in which version of hell this was; he was supposed to be dead.

There was a noise to the left. A cool hand brushed Kakashi's forehead and pressed against his wrist. The steady drumming of his heartbeat answered before the voice. "No, though you certainly gave it your best effort." Despite the sarcasm, Tsunade's voice was gentle. The same tone medical ninja used to keep a badly wounded soldier from realizing he was about to die.

Kakashi squinted one eye open and mentally checked his body for injuries. Physically, he felt exhausted but otherwise undamaged; mentally was another story. His mind felt heavy, sluggish, and disconnected. Darting a tongue over dry lips to bring some moisture back to them, Kakashi spoke again. "What happened?"

Before the question was fully out of Kakashi's mouth, Tsunade answered. "I sedated you." The Hokage gazed down at him with mixed emotions. Worry and pity being the strongest he could make out. Why would she be worried about him? He was fine. "I'm sorry, Kakashi."

The jonin struggled into a sitting position. Or rather, he attempted to do so; his body still wasn't cooperating. Tsunade helped him sit up and lifted a glass of water to his lips. Kakashi swallowed one drink then shook his head. His throat was raw but that didn't make sense. Now that he was semi-coherent, Kakashi really looked at the woman standing beside him. To put it kindly, Tsunade looked awful. Her face was paler than normal and there were heavy, dark circles under her puffy, red eyes. The sedative kept Kakashi from connecting the pieces together as quickly as he usually did. "Why," he asked after a moment. Then, on the heels of that, he added another question. "How long?"

Tsunade-sama settled on the edge of Kakashi's bed and sighed. "You've been here three days and I've kept you sedated for two of them. You shouldn't be awake yet but you always were stubborn." When he didn't respond to the banter, the woman rubbed her temples and shook her head. "I sedated you because you woke up raging. You were a danger to yourself and others. Can you remember what happened?"

The memories came back in vicious, encompassing waves. Frantically, the former ANBU locked his pain away. Part of Kakashi wanted to howl and beg Tsunade to tell him it was just a nightmare. Any moment Sakura would stroll through the door to check his vitals, shaking her head at him for getting injured again. Tenzo would appear looking distinctly uncomfortable and worried about his senpai, then stay as long as Kakashi needed him. Sai would stand off to the side, observing the three of them with that permanently thoughtful look on his pale face. The memory of them almost shattered his will but Kakashi refused to give in, remaining perfectly still as his training overrode the agony.

When Kakashi didn't answer either way, Tsunade filled in the blanks. "Two days after you left, Shizune and the medical ninja found an antidote for the poison used on you. It was too late to recall you, so I sent her with a squad of ANBU to bring the medicine to you, just in case. What they found when they finally caught up," she paused, turning those pitying brown eyes on the shinobi. "What happened out there, Kakashi?

The memories surged toward the surface and Kakashi's pulse picked up, heart pounding against his ribs. He rubbed a hand against the center of his chest, the edges of his vision blurring and dimming. Kakashi couldn't seem to draw a breath as Tsunade pressed two fingers to his wrist. Her touch tipped the balance, giving him a sensation to hold onto, something besides the aching emptiness that was threatening to consume his soul. Her face softened. "It's too soon; I'm sorry. Can I get you anything?"

A bottle of the strongest sake she could find would have been welcome, and Tsunade might have done it too, but Kakashi didn't ask. He hadn't been drunk since becoming a genin team leader but he could feel the overwhelming urge in the back of his mind. It got him through his ANBU days; it could get him through this. Rather than asking for a temporary reprieve from the pain, Kakashi prepared to intensify if. He brought his dark eye to her face. Tsunade didn't flinch or look away. "Did anyone else," Kakashi's throat closed around the rest of the question. He couldn't ask her if anyone else was alive. Deep inside, he knew they were dead, but maybe the poison had only temporarily hidden their chakra signatures. Maybe he had been wrong. Kakashi grasped for a lifeline like a drowning man.

Tsunade shook her head, eyes on the verge of tears. "Naruto got the antidote in time. The ANBU found him collapsed over you, barely breathing. He was shielding you with the last of his strength, though it doesn't look like you left any enemies to threaten you."

Kakashi heard, but didn't register, the words she was saying. The things she didn't say were far more important. "Sai? Tenzo? Sakura?" Each name tore through his heart. Kakashi could feel the blood welling and pouring out but he couldn't think about that now.

"They didn't make it Kakashi." Before the Copy Ninja could respond, Tsunade continued. "Don't blame yourself. None of us could have predicted the strength of that poison. Anyone could have fallen prey to it."

"But it wasn't anyone, was it?" Anger rippled through Kakashi chest, temporarily superseding the hurt. "It was my team, and I let them down."

The blond woman narrowed her eyes, face clouding. "There was nothing you could have done to change what happened. I'm as much at fault for this mission's failure as you are. More so. I ordered it."

Tsunade's words of absolution washed through Kakashi like a bitter draught. It was his duty to carry this burden, but he could feel the cracks splintering through him. Kakashi wanted to shatter, felt that it was inevitable. He could feel the anguish pouring into the vast reservoir of things he didn't want to feel. Kakashi couldn't breathe. His hand scrabbled at the pain in his chest. Maybe if his heart stopped all together, it wouldn't hurt anymore. He could see the playful laughter in Sakura's eyes as she mocked Naruto. The quiet focus on Sai's face as he worked on a drawing. He recalled the lapse in seriousness when Tenzo let his true personality shine through the ANBU persona. He'd never be able to see any of that again, not this side of death. His lungs weren't working; the room was spinning and growing dim again.

"Dammit Kakashi," Tsunade growled, already on her feet and fumbling through the cabinet beside his bed. "This is why I sedated you the first time. Pull yourself together. Calm down."

The tension exploded from around Kakashi's chest like a band and he gulped the stale, sterile air like it was the sweetest thing he'd ever tasted. His hand clutched Tsunade's right wrist in an iron grip, pushing it backward almost to the point of pain. The syringe in that hand was poised inches from his thigh. Her other hand had pulled the blanket back just enough to reach the spot she needed to inject him with the sedative. Kakashi increased the pressure of his fingers on her wrist. "I'm fine," his voice was honed steel. Tsunade met his gaze, held it for a moment, then dropped her eyes.

Kakashi was hyperaware, body filled with the tense energy that came before a fight. His heart pounded in a steady rhythm, forcing blood and fire through him. The fine tremble of agony had passed and the icy shell of numbness cloaked him. Turn off the things he didn't want to feel and couldn't change, focus on what he could. The hurt was still there, lurking in the back of his mind like a memory, but he held it there by sheer willpower. "I'm fine," he repeated, voice even harder than before.

"If you say it enough, will you start to believe it?" Tsunade jerked her hand away and flung the blanket back over him. Kakashi only barely suppressed the snarl that rose in his throat. This fury wasn't him but there was something different now. Something dangerous that he hadn't recognized in himself for a long time. Part of him was gone and he could never get it back. Kakashi balled his hands into fists, clutching at the sheets to keep from doing something he would regret.

Kakashi wanted to tell Tsunade that her prized student had fought bravely for the village and died a hero but he couldn't force the words out. He couldn't bear to think about those deaths. Not now, maybe not ever. "Do I have medical clearance to leave?" Kakashi's voice asked. His mismatched eyes dared her to try and keep him in the hospital.

Tsunade shook her head and stood up, tossing the syringe back into the drawer it came from. "Of course," her voice was tense. "If you want my help, you know where to find me."

"You can't help me," Kakashi mumbled to Tsunade's retreating form.

* * *

The air was cool with a hint of rain as autumn approached. Naruto glanced up at the heavy sky, strewn with dark grey clouds. It was fitting. The heavens should be crying on a day like today; they should be weeping with abandon. The blond boy tipped his head up, wondering if the rain would ever come and once it did, if it would ever stop.

"I can't stay much longer," Naruto said in the stillness of late morning. He had been out of the hospital for a day and a half now. Shizune's antidote had erased Sayomi's poison like it had never been and the nine-tails healing power, coupled with Tsunade's aid, had removed all his physical wounds. There were other wounds, deeper wounds, but Naruto knew those couldn't be healed by ninjutsu. Those would take time. Though he was young, the boy was familiar with grief and loss.

"Do you remember the first time we came here, Sakura-chan?" Naruto leaned back against the cool stone and exhaled. "It was during the bell test, our first training as Team Seven. Kaka-sensei was telling us about the heroes of our village who had their names carved on the Memorial Stone." He almost smiled at the memory of how naïve he'd been. The jonin had been trying to teach his genin about the meaning of sacrifice and being a shinobi but all Naruto heard was heroes. He'd cried out that he wanted to have his name on the stone too. Then Kakashi-sensei told them what it meant. "I wanted my name to be here then, and I wish it was now. You weren't supposed to become a hero before me." Naruto's voice trembled. "You weren't supposed to become a hero at all. Not like this."

Naruto was talking to himself, of course. Sakura was gone. He had watched her die in Kakashi-sensei's arms, unable to reach her even to say goodbye. Once Shizune had administered the antidote and Naruto started to stir, he had seen Sakura's lifeless body in the arms of a bird masked ANBU. Blindly, he had reached out for her and they paused to give him time. Her face and hands were colder than ice and the crimson stain on her chest was too dark to be part of her shirt. It had been a moment of pitying kindness the ANBU rescuers had shown him during the frenzied rush back to the village, but it had been enough to engrave the image in Naruto's mind forever.

Naruto's eyes squeezed shut against the pain but tears didn't come. He wasn't surprised. He'd cried more than he thought possible, and even if he wanted to drown himself with them, there were no tears left. They'd run down his cheeks for hours until Naruto thought they would never stop. Then, suddenly, they had and he missed them. If he couldn't summon an outward expression of his pain, maybe the rain would substitute for him. Naruto glanced at the sky and sighed. His body had swung through the gauntlet of emotions since leaving the hospital. One moment he wouldn't be able to breathe, gasping for air as his heart shattered into a million pieces for at least the hundredth time. Then he would be completely numb, unable to summon a single emotion to the surface if he tried. Maybe that was the way grief worked. Or maybe it was how Kakashi-sensei had been when he woke for the first time.

Naruto shuddered, recalling that first night in the hospital, and wished he could forget the memory. He and Kakashi-sensei had been put in the same room so Tsunade could watch over both. As far as Naruto knew, she hadn't left their sides since they'd been back in the village. He wasn't sure if she felt bad for them or they were still in danger. Tsunade had turned away at least two visitors that he heard, telling them that both men needed time and space to heal, for which Naruto was thankful.

It was the middle of the night when Naruto woke and noticed the Hokage asleep in the chair beside him. He was about to tell her to go to bed when his sensei woke screaming. Kakashi wasn't fully conscious when he cried out their names, voice breaking with emotion. Naruto could still hear the litany playing in the back of his mind. "Obito, Rin, Minato-sensei," Kakashi had panted, gasping the first three name names like they were too heavy for him to breathe around. "Sai, Tenzo, Sakura." He wept the next names so hard that if they hadn't been imprinted on Naruto's own heart, he wouldn't have understood Kakashi's keening. Though he didn't know the name Tenzo, but it could only belong to Captain Yamato when paired with Sai and Sakura the way it was.

Tsunade had been on her feet instantly, trying to calm Kakashi or physically drag him away from the nightmare. The jonin kept screaming their names and apologizing until the words tangled in his throat, refusing to come out as anything but jumbled sounds. Naruto had never seen or heard Kakashi-sensei lose control and hoped he never did again. It was terrifying to realize the man he's seen as unbreakable was breaking.

Unable to contain his curiosity, Naruto had risked opening one eye to watch the pair, trusting darkness to conceal the fact that he was awake. Kakashi was sitting up on the bed, silver hair tousled, both eyes open, and sharingan spinning. Tsunade hands were against his shoulders in an attempt to restrain him but Kakashi was stronger. He struck out blindly in his pain. Naruto didn't think Kakashi was even aware of his flailing fists. At the cries, a sleepy healer and exhausted looking Shizune materialized in the doorway. They both rushed forward to help Tsunade who was struggling to get Kakashi to lie back. The tipping point had come when the man's fist clipped Tsunade's cheek, sending her cursing and sprawling. The other two held him back while the Hokage drew something from a tall cabinet beside his bed. Kakashi fought them like a man possessed. All three were enveloped with the green healing glow, attempting to check for injuries and calm his wild grief but it wasn't working.

Tsunade muttered something about this being for his own good and then Kakashi had howled in pain and snarled. The fight went out of him after that and he fell back against the pillows. breathing hard but lying still. All three women watched him for a minute before Shizune shook her head and suggested Tsunade use the calm to let them heal her cheek. Glancing back at Kakashi, the dark haired woman added that he would be asleep in a few minutes so Tsunade might as well take a break. The Hokage argued briefly then gave in, agreeing it would be best let him rest.

Tsunade stopped by Naruto's bed before leaving but the boy had already squeezed his eyes shut and rolled onto his side, pretending to be asleep. The healers didn't linger, content that both charges were resting. When they left, Naruto rolled onto his back and gazed up at the ceiling. Their absence left the room oddly muted and as the silence stretched, Naruto found himself wish they had stayed. He normally had no trouble falling asleep but he did that night, listening to his sensei sobbing himself into a drug induced slumber.

Naruto jerked away from the memory to gaze at the sky again. It was easier than focusing on the pain that rippled through him at the thought of Kakashi-sensei. Naruto was stiff and sore from sitting in one position for this long so he shifted and looked at the memorial stone again. Dozens of people had stopped by to lay flowers and other offerings at the base, whispering soft words. Some Naruto knew, others were strangers. Their friends had come by as well, but whenever he sensed someone, Naruto would slip into the trees. He wasn't ready to face anyone, not yet. He'd practically fled from the hospital as soon as he was able, unable to bear the pity and hurt in Tsunade's eyes whenever she looked at him.

Today though, Naruto would have to face them all. He sighed. "I can't stay any longer but I promise I'll come back later, Sakura-chan." He knelt beside the stone, blond head bowed in a silent prayer. This wasn't the first time he'd lost someone important to him and it probably wouldn't be the last. Jiraiya's death was still recent enough to be painful but that was different. Pervy Sage had lived a long life; Sakura and Sai hadn't. Their future had been ripped away. Exhaling sharply through his nose, Naruto pushed himself back to his feet. "I'm sorry I wasn't faster," he mumbled to his fallen teammates before turning back toward the village.

Naruto made his way to the hospital, sticking mostly to the back streets so he could avoid running into anyone who would ask him how he was. He was okay, mostly, and would be better once he got through today. As he entered the stretch of hallway where Kakashi's room was, he noticed Tsunade was standing there, staring through Naruto without seeing him. The Hokage had taken all three deaths personally, but she was especially upset over Sakura's. Naruto only remembered bits and pieces of what happened after Kakashi killed Sayomi. Sensei had collapsed and Naruto had stood over the prone form until the poison dragged him into darkness as well. Naruto woke to sharp pain as Shizune pressed something into his arm. Later he would learn that it was the antidote. Tsunade's decision to send an extraction team had been too little and too late. The ANBU returned with more bodies than survivors.

When Naruto coughed, Tsunade turned to face him, worry creasing her brow. "Naruto? What do you need?"

"How is Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto flashed his signature smile, choosing to focus on something besides the pain lurking in the back of his mind. It had been five days since it happened; five days since he lost almost everything. "Is he awake yet?"

Tsunade sighed. "Kakashi woke up a little while ago. I released him; physically there was no reason to keep him any longer." She didn't sound happy about the news.

"So, he's okay then?" Naruto's asked, glancing at the medic's eyes. The brown orbs softened at his question.

"He's," Tsunade paused and looked at Naruto for a long moment. Finally, she nodded. "He's hurting, Naruto. He feels responsible for what happened and he probably always will. That's the kind of man Hatake Kakashi is. He would rather die than watch someone on his team suffer or get injured." She left it unspoken that Kakashi had just watched not one, but three teammates die.

Naruto didn't say anything for a moment, thinking over all the missions he'd completed with Kakashi-sensei. His own desire to save his friends had grown from watching the jonin fight to protect those important to him. Because Kakashi, Naruto bore the same weight to defend and sacrifice for his team. "I have to talk to him, Granny. Do you think he went home?"

Tsunade nodded. "I don't know if he'll welcome your company, Naruto. Everyone grieves differently and right now; the pain is still raw for him. He's been awake less than an hour."

"I understand but he needs someone right now, even if he doesn't realize it." _So do I,_ Naruto thought to himself.

Naruto knew he could go to Iruka-sensei. After Jiraiya's death, the man had comforted him in a way that no one else could. Even though Iruka had come to the Memorial Stone, Naruto had avoided him too. This pain was different. This time, his friends had died because he wasn't strong enough to protect them. He thought back to the way sensei had screamed for Rin and Obito while crying out apologizes. Naruto wondered if Kakashi could understand the weight of failing his friends. No, Iruka couldn't ease this ache. It had to be someone who knew what it was like to fail.

Tsunade looked at Naruto like she wanted to say something but held her silence. When the Hokage had asked for a mission report, Naruto had supplied only the simple version of events to save her the grief. He didn't tell her about the way Sai had smiled while he was dying. Or the way Tenzo had collapsed in Kakashi's arms, forgiving him for something Naruto didn't understand. One day he would ask how the two men had known each other. He couldn't help but think of Yamato as Tenzo now. After hearing Kakashi scream the name from the depths of his delirium, Naruto realized it fit. Shaking his head, Naruto gave Tsunade another smile and squeezed her shoulder. "Thanks, Granny."

Naruto left the hospital without speaking to anyone else. The whole place reminded him of Sakura and he didn't want to think about her right now. He let his feet carry him through the village as he worried about Kakashi. Naruto knew where the apartment was but Tsunade was probably right, Kakashi wasn't going to welcome his presence. Maybe he should just go home and leave the man alone. Sensei would seek him out once he was ready.

* * *

The apartment was exactly as Kakashi had left it, empty and vacant. When his gaze fell on the pictures by the door, nausea rolled through him. Kakashi barely made it to the bathroom in time to empty the contents of his stomach. Dry heaves wracked his entire body, leaving him shuddering and gasping. When it passed, he lifted the hem of his shirt to wipe his mouth and saw blood darkening the fabric. Was it Tenzo's or Sakura's? Kakashi didn't want to know. Trembling, he ripped the shirt with his effort to get it off then flung the pieces across the room. There was blood on his chest and blood on his hands. He turned on the shower and leaped under the cold stream before it could heat.

_It doesn't wash away_ , he thought, still shuddering. Just like Rin's blood that lingered on his hands for years after he'd killed her. Kakashi sank to the floor of the shower, curling in on himself. Only then realizing he was still half dressed. It didn't matter. Pain crashed through him, sharp, fast, and overwhelming. Water ran through Kakashi's silver hair, swirling blood and dirt down the drown. If only it could remove the hurt that easily. Even once the water warmed, he still shook uncontrollably. Anger and agony clutched at his chest and Kakashi wished he'd let Tsunade give him a second dose of whatever she had in the syringe. He didn't remember waking the first time, didn't remember raging, but forgetfulness had to better than this.

Kakashi drew his knees up this his chest and rested his chin on them, allowing the water run down his back. The images came unbidden; there was nothing he could do to stop them. Kakashi saw the look of trust in Sakura's emerald eyes as he watched the life fade away. She had believed he could save her up to the last moment. That trust was more painful than the acceptance in Tenzo's. He gasped. This pain was too sharp to examine logically but Kakashi couldn't shed a single tear. The Copy Ninja didn't cry; he hadn't cried in years. Not since the day of Minato-sensei's funeral. Even then, Kakashi held himself together until he was alone.

Agony clutched at Kakashi's throat, clenching tight until he couldn't draw a breath. His chest was squeezing painfully. Growling, Kakashi slammed a fist into the tiled wall of the shower. Shards burst around his hand, ripping through the skin of his knuckles. He didn't feel it but the anger allowed him to draw another breath. Only the red ribbons running down the white tile revealed that he'd hurt himself.

The water was cold now, washing away Kakashi's blood but not touching the crimson stains on his hand. _Rin's and Sakura's and Sai's and Tenzo's_. He should have protected them. Shivering, Kakashi stepped out of the shower, kicked away his sodden pants, and dried off. His body moved without conscious thought, simply doing what needed to be done out of habit. He stepped into his bedroom and pulled on a pair of black pants and a matching sleeveless shirt. The latter was the type he'd worn in ANBU but it still fit him well enough. He tugged the mask up like a security blanket then stumbled toward the kitchen as if he were already drunk.

Though Kakashi hadn't been drunk in years, there was still alcohol in the house. He kept a bottle of whiskey to celebrate when the occasion arose. There was perverse irony in the fact that it was entirely full because so few things went well. He pulled open the refrigerator and glanced around. There were a few withered vegetables and a bowl of something that might have been rice at some point but the alcohol was nowhere to be seen.

"Looking for this?" Kakashi spun, reaching for the kunai he didn't have. Sitting on his couch, holding the bottle of deep amber liquid, was Shiranui Genma. It was a familiar, if unexpected, face.

"What are you doing here, Genma?" Kakashi's voice was gruff as he reached for the drink only to have Genma pull it away. "Dammit, I'm not in the mood for your games tonight."

Genma glanced up at Kakashi, senbon bouncing rhythmically against his lips. "This is why I'm here." He nodded toward the alcohol in his hand. "It's a bit early to be hitting the bottle Kakashi."

"Tsunade send you?" Kakashi didn't add the honorific after her name. His attention was focused entirely on drinking himself into oblivion. That could numb the pain when nothing else could.

Genma shrugged. "She did, and she didn't. She's worried about you, but I don't think she'd expect you to drink yourself into a stupor." Hazel eyes flicked up to Kakashi's face. "I know you better." Kakashi's hands balled themselves into fists but Genma pretended not to notice. Most people would have cowered away from the red and black gaze but Genma was a trained shinobi. If anything, he looked indifferent at Kakashi's annoyance. "I won't stop you from drinking but you're going to hear me out first."

When Kakashi grunted something that might have been agreement, Genma continued. "Look, I know you're hurting right now but this isn't the answer. Not anymore." Genma shifted the senbon in his mouth, waiting, and placed the bottle on the table.

They had been friends for a long time and the tells were obvious: the faint tremble in Kakashi's still balled fists, the shifting fabric that suggested lips pinched together in annoyance. "I lost nearly every person on my team, Genma. Do you really think there's another answer for that?"

"I know, I heard the report when it came in." Genma was one of the guards for the Hokage; of course he'd heard. "We've both been on the wrong side of bad missions, Kakashi, and while this will numb your pain, it won't solve anything. Hell, I don't know that I blame you for wanting to take this route but—"

"Then why are you here, Genma?" Kakashi interrupted, advancing toward the bottle. "Say whatever you need to say, clear your conscience, and get out."

Genma stood, stepping between Kakashi and the table. The silver-haired man raised one eyebrow skyward, fighting to maintain control of his anger as Genma spoke. "I'm sorry Kakashi. I'm sorry about Sai and Yamato. I'm sorry about Sakura too, but the world didn't end with their deaths."

"Genma," Kakashi's voice was a warning, the low growl before a dog attacks.

"You can throw yourself in this bottle and numb their memories or you can let it hurt. As much as it hurts, and it's going to hurt like hell, this isn't the end." Genma looked Kakashi in the eye. Anger and fury were flashing though Kakashi but it wasn't enough to deter the lecture Genma thought he needed to hear. "Dammit Kakashi, you're so selfish. Did you even stop to think that you weren't the only survivor this time? Did you think about Naruto? He's sixteen and he's lost everything; he always loses everything. You're the closest thing he has to a father and you haven't even asked about him." The words poured out of Genma, hitting Kakashi like stones. "He's Minato's son, Kakashi."

The last words were barely out of Genma's mouth when Kakashi swung, right fist slamming into his jaw and sending him sprawling. Kakashi's chest heaved as he looked down at Genma, struggling to control the rage. There was a smear of crimson on the man's chin as he wiped the back of a hand across his mouth and picking up his senbon from the floor. "You think I don't know that," Kakashi growled, voice growing even softer in anger. "I couldn't save Obito, Rin, or Minato-sensei and now there are three more names on my list of failures. I can't save anyone that I care about, Genma. Naruto is better off without me." Kakashi's anger bled into anguish as the names spilled out.

Genma had no pity. "Do you know where Naruto is? He's at the Memorial Stone where he has been since he could get out of the hospital bed." The man shook his head, watching Kakashi crumple under his words. "Where do you think he learned that? It certainly wasn't from his father. He looks up to you, Kakashi. He needs you. You think nobody understands the pain you're feeling? That kid does and you left him to go through it alone."

Kakashi slumped on the couch, feeling sick all over again. He didn't want to deal with the pain so he blocked the memories of his team and glanced at the bottle, considering drinking himself into darkness. After Rin's death, Kakashi hadn't wanted Minato-sensei's comfort. He wanted to deal with things in his own way but Minato had still tried to drag him back from that abyss. Naruto was nothing like young Kakashi. He was sensitive and hopeful, passionate and full of life. Kakashi had sacrificed his own life to secure that bit of goodness for the blond-headed boy that looked so much like Minato.

Genma dragged himself out of the floor and moved the bottle of alcohol directly in front of Kakashi. The Copy Ninja didn't even raise his hand though Genma knew he heard and saw everything. As the silence stretched, Genma shook his head. He had said everything he needed to say; the rest was up to Kakashi. With one last glance at the man bowing under the weight of the world on his shoulders, Genma brushed his fingertips over Kakashi's shoulder and left the apartment.

* * *

Long after Genma left, Kakashi sat on the couch contemplating the bottle. As much as he hated to admit it, the man had made sense. At some point, Kakashi would probably need to apologize for punching him. Picking up the alcohol, he tilted it from side to side watching the liquid slosh around. He could uncap it and ease the aching numbness and if he was honest, a large part of him longed to do just that. A smaller voice whispered that Naruto needed him. Kakashi hadn't been there for Naruto when Jiraiya had died, not really. He'd wanted to help but things like that were better left to people like Iruka, who managed to stay gentle despite the world being the way it was. That wasn't Kakashi.

In all likelihood, Naruto had gone to Iruka to talk already. Kakashi found the idea of talking about feelings completely out of the question. Talking about them didn't solve anything, didn't make it any better. His years in ANBU had taught Kakashi to switch off his emotions. It was easier that way. And when those defense mechanisms failed, well there was always another answer to be found. Kakashi sat the bottle on the table and rubbed the back of his neck. The grief had subsided a little now that he was alone and had an out if he chose to take it. He leaned back against the couch and closed his eyes.

Kakashi opened one eye when he heard tentative tapping at his door. It wouldn't be Genma returning. That wasn't his style; he would have let himself in if the door was unlocked, and climbed through the window if it wasn't. Guy would have beaten the door until the entire frame shook and Tsunade would have barged in as well. Process of elimination left Kakashi empty-handed. There was no one else who would come to see him. He had almost convinced himself it was his imagination when the sound came again, louder this time. Sighing, he stood and walked to the door, cracking it open just enough to peer into the hallway.

"Sensei?" Naruto stood there, looking the same as always. Blond hair tousled and guiltless blue eyes, though there was a hint of uncertainty in them. He smiled when Kakashi's head and shoulder appeared. "How are you feeling?"

"Naruto," Kakashi said stupidly, mind struggling to reconcile the unchanged boy with the horrors they'd lived through He noticed Naruto was carrying several bags in his arms. Wondering what they were and if this was a good idea, Kakashi stepped backward into his apartment and pushed the door wider. Naruto glanced at him, asking permission a second time, before crossing the threshold into uncharted territory.

Belatedly, Kakashi realized he'd been asked a question. Unsure how much Naruto knew from the hospital, he hedged his answer. "Whatever Tsunade-sama gave me was strong but I think most of it is out of my system." That both answered and avoided the question entirely.

Naruto didn't notice the guarded answer as he placed his bags on Kakashi's table and drew the contents out of one. "Have you eaten anything, sensei?" Naruto's voice was sheepish as he placed two bowls on the table. Of course it would be ramen, though how the boy had convinced Teuchi to make takeaway was a mystery. Kakashi wasn't hungry and food was perhaps the furthest thing from his mind, but he knew Naruto meant well. "You should eat something," Naruto said, smiling. His words and mannerisms sparked a memory that Kakashi hadn't thought about in years.

Minato had possessed the same easy grin. The type of smile that existed whether or not the person was actually smiling, because their face was so used to the expression. But there had been depth to Minato as well. He loved his students fiercely and would do anything to protect them. After Obito's death, the man had single-handedly fought to hold Kakashi and Rin together. Even with the war raging around them and his own duties, Minato had made a point to check on them. He had been the closest thing to a father that Kakashi had after Sakumo's death. While he was sure he had frustrated his sensei, Kakashi had known that no one believed in him more than Minato.

Then, Kakashi killed Rin in his effort to save her. Minato didn't rescue them and Kakashi's world had ended. When he woke in the hospital, sensei had been waiting. Minato had placed a hand on Kakashi's shoulder and apologized for not being there to help him. He'd done the same thing after Obito's death. Minato accepted responsibility without wallowing in it or trying to take away Kakashi's guilt. He didn't try to make things better, he was simply there and available. It was a shared understanding that while they were shinobi, highly trained killers, they were also human sometimes things went wrong. Kakashi could remember looking in his eyes and finding acceptance and forgiveness for the deaths of his teammates.

It wasn't many months later that Minato had broached the subject of Kakashi joining ANBU, forever altering his student's life. Naruto reminded him so much of Minato that it took Kakashi's breath away. They had the same golden hair, his blue eyes were the perfect mixture of Minato's and Kushina's colors, even his smile; all of it screamed Naruto's heritage and brought the memories swirling back. Even now, Naruto was looking at Kakashi the same way Minato had, no blame or anger in his eyes. Except, this time Kakashi was the sensei and this was his responsibility. Kakashi swallowed and forced himself to smile. "Thanks for lunch, Naruto."

"You have to eat," the boy said, handing Kakashi a pair of chopsticks. As he broke them apart, Kakashi watched Naruto slurping the noodles eagerly as was ever his custom. He brushed fingers against his mask then tugged it down; Naruto didn't even glance up. Kakashi ate mechanically, more because he needed strength than a desire for food. When Naruto realized Kakashi had removed his mask, the boy's mouth fell open but the silver-haired man didn't say anything. Neither of them did. Kakashi ate as he would have with Tenzo, a friend who had been close enough to see the man behind the mask. He and Naruto didn't have that relationship, not yet and maybe they never would, but in this moment it was enough.

When Naruto finally did speak, it wasn't what Kakashi had been expecting. "Sensei, can I ask you something?" The boy glanced at the bottle on the table once and didn't look back a second time.

Kakashi shifted and pushed his bowl away. It wasn't empty but he couldn't get anything else down without throwing it up whenever the pain returned. Grief was something he knew far too much about. As he watched Naruto turn his bowl in a slow circle, every instinct in Kakashi screamed for him to say no. Kami only knew what the boy was thinking, but Kakashi inclined his head anyway, fearing the worst. Naruto chewed his lower lip and remained silent for several moments. "What happened to your teammates, sensei? To Obito and Rin. I, um, I heard you crying out for them when we were in the hospital."

Naruto trailed off but Kakashi hardly noticed. The names were like kunai ripping through his chest and it took all of his focus to not react. Naruto didn't know what he was asking; he was just trying to make sense of his own pain. So, the boy had been awake during whatever Tsunade had thought significant enough to sedate him over. What else had Naruto heard? Kakashi sighed and without the mask covering his mouth it was louder than normal. He fought the urge to pull it back up, but Naruto wasn't looking at him. "They were killed on missions," Kakashi finally answered. There was so much more he could add but right now, Naruto needed to know that someone else had felt what he was feeling.

"Does it get easier?" Naruto didn't look up but the pain was obvious in his slumped shoulders and soft voice.

_No, never_ , Kakashi's heart screamed with renewed agony. "Yes," he answered, not exactly lying. Naruto was the type of person who would find a way to move past the hurt. Kakashi wasn't; he never had been.

"And my dad?" Naruto whispered. Though he didn't know the details, Kakashi knew that Minato had somehow helped Naruto control the nine-tails during Pain's attack on the village. In truth, Kakashi had been waiting for this question though he doubted Naruto knew how close the pair had been. He wondered if he'd cried out for Minato in the hospital as well. That was the only way Naruto could have logically made the jump.

Without answering, Kakashi stood up and walked over to the pictures by the door. His heart lurched as his gaze slid over Sakura's smiling face and he looked away quickly. Kakashi's hand shook only a little when picked up the photograph of Team Minato and carried it back to Naruto. The boy stared at it for a long time, providing Kakashi the needed space to recompose himself. He didn't look at the picture. He didn't need to. Kakashi could remember the warm weight of Minato's hand on his head, forcing both himself and Obito to face the camera. He could see the happy smile on Rin's face and the amused one on Minato's.

"He was your sensei?" Naruto's words were half statement, half question. Kakashi nodded without speaking. His throat was doing that thing where it constricted, refusing to let his words out. Naruto ran a finger over the faces in the photo, lingering on Minato's before he turned back to Kakashi. A million unasked questions were in his blue eyes but Kakashi couldn't face them, not right now. Naruto lowered his gaze, seeing the pain in Kakashi's, then he gasped. "I thought Granny healed you, sensei. You're bleeding."

Following Naruto's stare, Kakashi looked at his right hand. There were half a dozen cuts of varying depth and length across his knuckles from where he's punched the wall earlier. Some were oozing blood but it was hardly life threatening. "It's nothing," Kakashi said, waving the boy off.

Naruto was already on his feet. "I know you hate hospitals so you have to have some bandages around here somewhere." The boy wandered into the kitchen, still talking. "With my chakra control, I'm as likely to cut your hand off as heal it."

A chuckle rose unexpectedly in Kakashi's throat. "Like I'd ever let you heal me." When Naruto started opening cabinets at random, Kakashi added, "it's over there by the sink." Naruto found the medical kit and roll of bandaging easily enough. Carrying it over, he reached for Kakashi's hand and began to wind the white cloth across the cuts. The boy bit his lower lip in concentration but his inexperience at bandaging showed when he pulled the cloth too tight in places and left it too loose in others.

Kakashi was about to tell Naruto he could do it himself when the first tear splashed against the back of his hand. "Sakura-chan could have done this better. I'm sorry, sensei." Kakashi's chest tightened as the bandages slid out of Naruto's shaking hands. "I'm sorry," the boy repeated a second time, entire body shaking. In that moment, Kakashi saw himself in Naruto. He saw a boy whose entire world had collapsed and though he didn't know how to pick it back up, he was trying. And this wasn't just a boy; he was Minato's.

Kakashi stood up and wrapped his arms around Naruto, who startled at the touch then melted against him, sobbing. With one arm on Naruto's back, Kakashi drew his student tight against his chest. Naruto fisted his hands in Kakashi's shirt, trying to control the emotion pouring out of him. Within moments, Kakashi could feel the warm dampness of Naruto's tears on his shoulder. Naruto wept openly, without fear of judgment from his sensei, even though ninja weren't supposed to cry. Kakashi found that not only did he not judge Naruto, he envied him the freedom to give in to the emotion.

Kakashi exhaled, feeling the weight of the world crashing around him as he held Minato's son. He didn't know how to fit the pieces back together for Naruto. Kakashi didn't even know how to put the pieces back together himself. There were so many broken places that could never be repaired. After Rin, Kakashi had welcomed and courted death but never quite reached it. He'd found a new meaning in leading his team, in the legacy left behind, but he would trade his own life in an instant if it would have brought any of them back. He closed his eyes against the sting of pain that threatened to take his breath.

Naruto's grip on Kakashi's shirt changed and he hugged his sensei back instead of clinging to him. Somehow, Naruto absorbed Kakashi's strength and reflected it back to him. The contact was uncomfortable for Kakashi; physical affection was something he almost never showed. He built walls to protect himself from feeling the type of pain he felt after Rin's death. _How's that working out for you?_ His inner dialogue mocked. The memory of Sakura surfaced, the surprise on her face when he'd kissed her forehead. Had Kakashi really held himself away from his students so much that they couldn't see he cared about them?

That thought was enough to shatter the last of Kakashi's defenses. A shudder ran through his body and Naruto's hands tightened against his back. His eyes burned and it took Kakashi a moment to realize the dampness of tears on his cheeks. He drew a shaky breath as they leaked out despite his best efforts to hold them in. Naruto never noticed. The boy's sobs were quickly becoming softly sniffled apologies and Kakashi brought himself back under control. Naruto needed his strength, not his weakness.

Naruto's voice was as broken as Kakashi had ever heard it with the apologies tumbling out. "Stop apologizing," Kakashi murmured once his voice was steady. Naruto pushed away from his chest, rubbing eyes before meeting Kakashi's gaze. "I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me."

Naruto's eyes rounded in surprise. "I don't blame you. I just wish I could have done something."

"I know," Kakashi answered softly. "You fought hard and I'm proud of you, Naruto." Blue eyes bloomed with hope. Kakashi almost smiled. No, Naruto was nothing like young Kakashi; the boy would bounce back from this stronger for knowing pain, not more fragile. And he would drag Kakashi up with him because that's the type of person that Naruto was.

The jonin reached out to ruffle Naruto's head, realizing how tall he'd gotten. "We should get changed for the funerals," he finally said. He'd been avoiding thinking about what was coming but it had to be done. Both of them would put on strength with their black garments and act like the pain they felt wasn't there. At least in public.

Naruto nodded and picked up the other bag on the table, pulling out the black shirt and pants he'd bought. He turned back to Kakashi after a moment. "Sensei? Will you tell me about Obito and Rin, not right now, but later?" He stopped and Kakashi could tell he was thinking. "And Tenzo, too?"

Kakashi exhaled slowly. Those were painful memories he horded like treasures, never talking to anyone about them. "I will," he allowed after a moment and Naruto smiled. The jonin felt a swell of painful pride in his chest as he looked at his student. _I'll protect him, sensei. And I'll make sure he surpasses you as Hokage, whatever it takes._ "I'll tell you about your dad too." It was time. Naruto deserved to know about the hero who saved the village; he deserved to know the man whose footsteps he was chasing without realizing it.


End file.
